The Christmas Story

Lights, shopping, cold weather, carols, trees, parties,airports and traveling. This time of the year can be extremely busy and crazy. It seems like every single night there is a party or some event. I am filled with joy at how my peers remember those in need during this time and have gone well out of their way to raise awareness and support in an effort to make a difference in people's lives around the world. But even as good and important as these things are, if they are not tethered to the meta narrative that is in the gospel of Jesus Christ then I think we are missing a rather large part of our commission. It would almost be like someone taking all the time, work, effort to investment in Christmas lights but never actually plugging them into the power source. We have to open our mouths and proclaim the gospel as a reminder to ourselves of the hope we have in Jesus and to others and not just rely on our actions. Jesus asked his disciples who do people say I am, Peter steps forward and says You are the Christ the Son of the living God and it is on that confession of WHO Jesus is that the church is built and the gospel lives. And so I want to remember the story and remind ourselves of why we do the things we do.

I'm reading a book right now called "How football explains America" and basically its a book written to explain why and how football became America's sport and how it captured the hearts of the American people and why it didn't take in other parts of the world. One thing that stuck out to me was this idea centered around how most people live their lives through the stories of others... and so if this is true and I believe to a large degree it is very true, all you have to do is look at the news/magazines and tabloids to see what the latest hot gossip is, but if this is true then there is no better story to live through than the one given to us in the bible as God Himself reconciles the world back to Himself. But before we get to that let me tell one of my own...

When I was a little boy I believed in Santa. My parents told me about Santa and how each year he got on his sleigh, flew behind magical reindeer led by one with a red light for a nose and delivered toys to boys and girls all over the world all in one night. I had such a strong belief in him because in my mind he was clearly real. I would give my Christmas list to my parents to mail to the North Pole and would then receive the presents I had asked for. To me that was evidence of his existence, end of story. Now because of my fascination with Santa and his reindeer, I had decided we were friends and I needed to meet him. But he was a busy man and so therefore I needed to catch him in my house. After many failed attempts of setting traps I decided this one year to just stay awake and witness him myself. However I knew that by myself I wouldn't be able to stay awake so I convinced my mom to remain up with me. She must have been thinking I'll give him an hour at the most and he'll pass out...oh no not me, nope I was determined and as traits hold true can be very discipline or stubborn, however you look at it, when I need to be. I made conversation with her til midnight, 1, 2, 3 and finally after she realized I wasn't going to go to sleep, my mother looks at me and says "Jason, there is no Santa now go to sleep!" ....and just walks out of my room. She leaves me in my room, open mouth, wide eyed with a disappointed broken heart! There was no Santa...but I still had the Easter bunny.

Ok so now compare all of that to the scriptures. In Genesis 17:1-8 We see God shows up, pursues man in Abraham and says look at the stars so shall your offspring be and I will be there God. The bible follows this group of people throughout history from slavery to the promise land to king after king and victory after victory, rebellion to repentance and in this meta narrative God sends prophets as His mouth piece to remind the Israelites of all God's done and to turn from their ways lest He get angry and destroy all of them. But God remembers His covenant and as we find in Isaiah 59:16 He works salvation with His own arm and points to the coming of the Messiah...A time is coming, don't lose hope set your eyes on God because He is sending a Savior. Then everything just goes silent. For 400 hundred years all they have is their history, the Law and a prophecy about the coming of a Messiah. And I can picture a father and son on their way to sacrifice a goat and the son looking at his dad and asking how much longer do we have to do this and then hearing the hope in the father's voice as he says one day son, one day we won't have to do this anymore because God is sending someone who will bind up the brokenhearted, proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners and proclaim the year of the Lord's favor...I understood and believed in Santa for maybe 3 years and my happiness and excitement each Christmas was based on whether or not a Fat man dressed in a red jump suit brought me presents. Can you see the difference in my hope and belief compared to all of the Jews history, all they had been through, seen and heard about? Divine miracles were no mystery to them so their belief and hope for a Messiah would far exceed anything we can relate to presently.

And then as prophecy foretold, it happens. The whole story begins to take shape as the God of the Universe steps off of His throne in Heaven is born of a virgin, walks among sinners and then is eventually killed by the very people who have longed for His coming for generation after generation after generation.

But for the most part, this divine birth goes virtually unnoticed. And then even when Jesus begins and gets well into His ministry He is still rejected and not accepted as the Son of God. What's wrong with this picture? The Messiah, whom they have been waiting for is in the flesh standing in their midst and instead of following Him they want to kill him...? But are we really that much different? It's easy for us to sit here, read about this story and say how could they be so dumb. Because you see, the Jews had created a version of their Messiah, what they wanted and what they thought they needed in order to make them happy and serve their needs. They were looking for a physical relief to their current situation. A change in their circumstance as they were being oppressed by a very large Roman Empire. A king to actually free them physically from bondage. They had set their expectation on the idea that they knew best what would bring them the most joy. But as we saw with the woman at the well and how she was looking for physical water, Jesus didn't come to just change things on the outside but with His kingdom He gave us victory from the inside out. And they didn't get the Messiah they thought. They got Jesus. Who hung out with the poor, the sick and the sinners and always challenged their heart instead of performing every time they rang a bell. And we do the same thing. We create a version of what God can and can't do based on how we see the world and how it should work. And when God challenges those things we say that's not God He wouldn't ask me to do that or how could God allow that to happen.

I mean look at our life, what kind of things have we placed our hope in, created, hoping that it would bring about happiness or some type of relief from our current situation? All those things will eventually let us down. My belief in Santa let me down, my hope in football let me down, alcohol, girls you name it. Everything that I pursued on my own outside of the gospel led no where but to more anger and loneliness. And it wasn't until the gospel was birthed inside my heart did I finally find true peace and hope and that is why despite having much or nothing at all we, we can find solace and rest in Him. Our joy is not dependent upon our circumstances, health or social status but everyone whether rich or poor, single or married, sick or healthy can rejoice knowing that this story is real. It's not another fairy tale made up to make us feel good. Jesus did come and because of that we have hope and life.

And just as the Jews looked for the first coming we can now be certain of His second...

Revelations 22:12"Behold, I am coming soon! My reward is with me, and I will give to everyone according to what he has done. 13I am the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End.

Kinsman Redeemer

The mountain before me great and tall
Could I go over or would I be afraid to fall
My heart is in this the King I know
Has called me to press on even through the deepest snow

The enemy advances and weighs heavily upon me
I use my sword to defend my territory
Resisting the urge to give in now
Because at the name of Jesus every knee will bow

He has chosen this for me that I may suffer with glory
Before the foundations of the earth He had written my story
That in my trials my faith would not waver
as Jesus came to die and became my Savior

And so I look at this mountain before me
with joy in my eyes to give Him the glory

We got Ducks

One spring day I walked out the back door and noticed one of our female ducks acting super weird. She had isolated herself from the others and was walking about a certain area in the backyard with several of her little ones “quacking.” As I moved in closer I could see that she didn’t respond normally by hitting 5th gear escaping into the water but was hesitant before herding the two remaining ducklings to safety. It was a rough season for her as she had started with around 10 ducklings or so and now was only down to two, so I assumed she was just being emotional. I return on my course and accomplished whatever it was I had previously sought out to do and once again I noticed she had returned to same spot acting weird and wouldn’t shut up.

This time I move in closer to investigate and as I do so I start to hear I muffled chirp, chirp….chirp, chirp. “One, two…both little ones swimming with mom, so what is this other noise I hear?” I bend down and follow the noise, now intrigued and noticed that the grass had covered a hole in the ground that one of the ducklings had fallen into and gotten stuck. Momma duck, helpless without a thumb, couldn’t reach in and save her baby and was therefore circling this spot as they called back and forth to each other. So being the gentle hero that I am, I reach in pull the little guy out and watch peacefully as mother and baby reunite…

They begin a victory lap around the pond, baby close by mother’s side. Not going to lie, I felt accomplished and that I did my good deed for the day and as I’m about to turn to head back inside a huge fish surfaces at eats the baby!!! Momma flips out and starts swimming in circles; my mouth is open in disbelief. Did that really just happen…? Final destination for the little guy. (but mystery was solved as to what happen to his brother and sisters!?)

Sometimes life is like that. We climb out of one hole only to enter into a bigger one… so I went and got my fishing pole and used the others as bait, JK JK JK JK!

Getting out of the Desert

Ok so after camp.
I'm not quite sure why all of a sudden this Jesus thing started to make sense to me. But for some reason the light bulb came on while I was at camp and I made a huge switch from treating church religiously to wanting to know my creator. Before, I looked at church as a huge social gathering of hypocrites and a bunch of rules and I wanted nothing to do with it. At camp I saw that christians could have fun, they were full of life, joy, peace and they actually cared about my life...I dove deeper into the Word and God began to open my eyes, my heart to see and view things much different than I had before. I had been to many church retreats, camps and conferences growing up; heard tons of good speakers and worshiped to some great music. But it was not these things that brought me to the feet of Jesus. It was serving, being ripped open and exposed, trying to pour into the lives of 10-11 year old boys at camp. I had always struggled with patience before and since God "blessed" me with a cabin of delinquents all diagnosed with a severe case of ADD, I had to rely on Jesus. I desperately wanted to make a difference in these kid's lives (without killing them in the process, love hate, you counselors can relate =). I don't know if I ever did, but I know they helped rescue me from a well known path of darkness, self seeking, unrighteous life of debauchery.

Camp ended. Returned back to school and I knew my lifestyles had to change. I didn't know how to do it so the only thing that made sense to me was to do the opposite of everything I was doing before, right? Go to church, stop drinking, don't date...etc. I became very legalistic and did not know how to walk out my new faith. I loved college worship on Wednesday nights! Seriously, I was like a little kid waiting for Christmas, as each Wednesday approached. This first year was definitely a honey moon experience for me. God was so real, so close. My emotions were different. I was passionate, excited to let everyone know about God, but didn't really know what to say. My friends (fraternity) did not understand my change. I went from being the life of the party (well still danced and had a good time) to the sober individual.
Faced a lot of different persecution and rejection but God also did many good things with new relationships/friendships being formed.

Of course I had to go back again to camp the next summer and this year I was sooooo stoked on the way there! Got there saw tons of old friends and this time I was part of bringing the joy! It's weird how God's timing works out...

I was on my day off with another counselor, we were out enjoying our day away from camp, and finally get to the city where our cell phones can get reception. I check my VM and as soon as my mom starts talking, I can hear it in her voice that something was wrong. She and my dad were separating. I had no clue. I had been removed from my house for two years now. I mean I always thought their relationship was different but I never assumed they would get a divorce. I immediately began to blame my father for all of this. If he would have only done this.this.this. and the list went on. I called her we talked about things. and I was left at camp to try and process through things. My faith was very strong at the time and I truly believed in Gods power to restore not only their marriage but my dad's absence as a father. I was like Go God, convict him make him change...and the next time I had a day off I get a call that my childhood dog passed away!? I was like what the heck is going on here!

Ok I'll speed things up.

Anyways. School/job became very demanding that year and I wasn't able to attend the college worship on wed nights as much. I was leaning on that for my spiritual filling so I quickly took a slide backwards. Come summer, before my senior year I was dealing with some issues about what I wanted to do with my future. I was also 21 now and the bar scene was new. Got caught into that for about a month but quickly felt the convicting power of the Spirit and changed that habit. This season back was different. It wasn't filled with the new sensation and fervency that I had the previous year. It was difficult, old temptations were creeping in and seemed to always be just around the corner. But this season was just as important if not more important than any other...and as I was reading Matthew just the other week I finally saw why.

Jesus was baptized by John at the end of chapter 3, then following His baptism we find that in chapter 4 "Jesus was led by the Spirit into the desert to be tempted by the devil. 2After fasting forty days and forty nights, he was hungry." This period of temptation, the desert, was not out of disobedience but something established by the Spirit specifically for a reason. I believe this point is very pivotal and crucial leading into the rest of Jesus' ministry. It is after the resistance of temptation, overcoming Satan's attempts to lead him into destruction that He leaves and immediately begins to preach "17From that time on Jesus began to preach, "Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is near."

I was seeing this played out in my life that second year after camp and I have seen it played out in many of the guy's lives I was and am still in community with. We are not being punished but it is crucial for the testing of our faith. This testing produces character, 3Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. We must understand that we are in a battle and realize the power we have in Christ to resist temptation for our best. Just as in any battle, a General would be a fool to put someone in charge of a group of men and women if he's still running from his neighbors dog, its a process.

He never intends for us to stay in the desert. Jesus was only there for 40 days, however many of us like myself find ourselves there for years. We struggle and give into the same temptation over and over and over again, thinking to ourselves will this ever go away?! We then begin to pity ourselves and say "well Jesus lived 2000 years ago and doesn't have to struggle with the things we do today, how can He possibly know what I am going through?"

And this is what I would say to that...the moment we give into temptation, it is no longer temptation but has now become sin. Therefore since Jesus was tempted with everything (as we find in Hebrews 4) yet without sin, He himself faced a greater amount of temptation than anyone else who has ever walked on the face of this planet. Think of it like this, as you stretch a rubber band, the band itself becomes more and more tense and when you let go that tension is quickly released. Jesus never gave into the tension, the temptation stayed taught. There wasn't this quick fix, of "oh ill just try it this time because I can't handle the pressure" No it was, resisting the tension that ultimately led to the band snapping. And I think it's set up this way for a reason, so that we can experience the fullness of life and where we see this desert period bypassed or ignored I think things can go awry. For instance, its so sad, but why do we hear about pastors molesting kids or cheating on their wifes? Perhaps bypassing the desert and rushing into ministry will prove to be more detrimental in the end...that a whole different blog though!

So I am encouraged in my trials, my temptations because I know that I am being refined and as I begin to resist temptation and my desire to release the tension, I will walk into ministry and begin to help others. That is our purpose here, this is the hope that we have in Christ. Do not grow weary in the desert, there is freedom...

Footsteps

Deep breath,ready?...It wasn't like I was afraid to walk or was unable, but when you're a year old and your parents are breathing down your neck urging you to do so, just so they can capture your first steps and then tell the grandparents all about it...it just takes the fun out of it. My stubbornness had already kicked in at an early age and I would just sit there as they stared down at me, camera ready and I would deliberately disobey. I wonder if they regret when I finally started walking because I was constantly getting into trouble and they would always have to redirect me from walking into fire, into the street or over a cliff. You would think, I would have been a whole lot easier to raise if I never took those first steps, but with steps comes progress and progress leads to many lessons learned...Ok so it may not have gone exactly like that but my desire to walk with Jesus has always been a battle. And He was always there taking me by the hand to make sure I didn't get into too much danger.

I grew up going to church, was in the church plays (never got the cool role though...A DOG! what kind of luck gets you the role as a dog in the church play?! All I had to do was sit at the King's feet and I have some seriously good acting skills! conduct hmmm maybe) but I always heard about Jesus and all the stories relating to the bible. My prayers at night were genuine and I truly believed God was listening to just me. I accepted Christ when I was 11 and then things got more difficult following baptism. My brother graduated from HS just as I was entering Jr High and went off to college right away. My dad had been a father up to that point, but after that he just checked out. He was present still but not really there for me if you know what I mean.

Sometimes I struggle with the thoughts "would it have been easier if he actually just left" because then I wouldn't be deceived into believing some of the lies I did, but then I know that wouldn't have helped either. Jr High sucked, kids are mean there as everyone is searching for their identity and feel better about themselves by degrading others. So when I got into High school that is when things really took a turn for the worse. I wanted to be apart of the "cool crowd" and since we lived in a small town that usually meant, alcohol, drugs and girls. So I ran. Ran away from God and chose those things that only brought temporary gratification. Became rebellious, fought with my mom all the time especially about having to wake up to go to church. Stayed out late. drank. drank. drank. Entering my senior year I tore my ACL in two-a-days and I thought my life was over! Football was my first love and I had worked so hard for my last year. I had dreams of going to play somewhere and now all of this was shattered in a play gone bad. Some grownups would tell me "God has a plan for you even though it may not seem like it" (in hindsight I can see it) but that was the last thing I wanted to hear! My heart became hardened and I gave into the desire of my flesh. In my mind I was doing what everyone else was so I did not see any wrong in it...

Anyways that year was a blur and now Im off to college. Baylor University. A baptist school.
I met a guy who lived in my dorm, Adam, who became my best friend, and we were inseparatable sp?...Freshman year was so much fun for us because we would go to all these fraternity parties with tons of free beer. Midway through my freshman year my Dad in heaven took action. I interviewed for a counselling job at Camp Ozark, a christian sports camp, and somehow got the job...along with Adam. Crazy, scary i know. So that summer we packed up and drove to Arkansas. Literally on the way we looked at each other and said, we have to stop cussing. We cannot cuss in front of these kids. Oh my...God re-wired, redeemed and re-shaped me while I was there in such a tangible way and from that point on, I the prodigal son, had finally returned home. For good this time.

Restoration (part 3)

Alright, alright I know this says part 3 and many will be tempted to start here and decide whether or not to read the other two, but that doesn't make sense...unless you are one of those people who skip to the last chapter to see what happens at the end of the book! shame on you ha! or you may scroll down and decide it's too long and don't have the time. I tried my best to set it up so that it flows in the direction of 1-3 not 3,2,1 so it probably won't make much sense to read this one first...and this is just the way it falls on the screen, sorry...

Character Building Part 2

...I apologize for not finishing sooner (and if you have no clue what I'm talking about you probably shouldn't continue reading this until you finish the blog below, I'm just saying). The irony, however, is the connection between what happened 20 years ago on the beach to what prompted me to even tell that crazy story took much longer, hurt much more than the week I've left you hanging....so I withdraw my apology...

Learning to Let Go (part 1)

Growing up as the youngest boy amongst me brother, relatives and neighborhood kids, I was forced to learn how to do things quickly otherwise I'd be left behind. I didn't enjoy games such as tag/chase because I was the slowest and if I got tagged then it would most likely remain that way until someone felt sorry for me or I quit. If we played hide-n-seek, my survival dependent on a good hiding spot because I couldn't rely on my speed to take me to the safety of base. There were many times when the game would be over and I would still be left in my hiding spot, punks...training wheels were not an option for me, those extra plastic wheels only slowed me down on my bicycle, therefore it was push and crash until I succeeded...

Standing through the Gauntlet

³Praised (honored, blessed) be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ (the Messiah)! By His boundless mercy we have been born again to an ever-living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead,

⁴[Born anew] into an inheritance which is beyond the reach of change and decay [imperishable], unsullied and unfading, reserved in heaven for you,

⁵Who are being guarded (garrisoned) by God's power through [your] faith [till you fully inherit that final] salvation that is ready to be revealed [for you] in the last time.

⁶[You should] be exceedingly glad on this account, though now for a little while you may be distressed by trials and suffer temptations,

⁷So that [the genuineness] of your faith may be tested, [your faith] which is infinitely more precious than the perishable gold which is tested and purified by fire. [This proving of your faith is intended] to redound to [your] praise and glory and honor when Jesus Christ (the Messiah, the Anointed One) is revealed.

rebirth

Do people blog because they have really interesting lives or just a really interesting way of wording mundane events to sound enjoyable?

I mean honestly, I read some people's blogs who write everyday I'm really impressed by the amount of excitement they have from day to day. and do they have a lot of time to 'blog' or are they just that talented and the writing comes natural, and what exactly is the point of blogging? Is it to relay what goes on in our life or to express views, thoughts and pictures? ... it has been a really long time since I have written a blog so you'd think that mixed with the intensity of the past two years, I'd have tons to write about. I do actually, but I just don't know where to start. So how about with something simple, through my eyes...

I don't prefer to be stuck in an office all day and so I use my breaks as a means to escape outside any chance I get. I use this time to walk around the building where the concrete meets the "gardening" (not elegant by any means) clear my head and think. However, everyday my eyes are drawn down to squirming earthworms who have broke their way through the dirt and have now found themselves trapped on the pavement. Little do they know (since they have no eyes) that hundreds of their comrades have made this same error before them and are now fried and left decomposing from the day before.

Usually, I'll look, think dumb worms, step over and ignore them. But on one occasion I felt this small tug on my heart/conviction to pick one up and rescue it. Now let me preface, I am not a worm lover at any rate and it's not like I was losing sleep over these dying worms, but lately I've been working on being more sensitive to the Spirit and what God is trying to ask of me. So as I step over and try to ignore, I stop in my tracks and am reminded of "today if you hear his voice do not harden your heart"... so I utter something to myself, bend over pick up the slimy thing, who goes crazy as if I'm trying to hurt it, and throw it back into the shrubbery stuff. So this starts an inner dialogue between me and God. Thinking: what was the point of that? There are still a hundred or so still out baking in the sun and who's to say the same one that I saved won't be out here again tomorrow? It's pointless I thought, I can't save them all. The only thing that would save them is if I could become a worm myself, relay the message that when you are digging and then stop feeling earth around you, turn around and go back...and then it hit me.

God looked at me, you, us, flailing about in a fallen world, blind, certain to die and knew the only way to save us was to become like us, with us, teach us, show us how to live and then die in my place so that I could be spared. So in His infinite love and mercy He sent His son Jesus, to walk in my shoes, to see what we see and to become light in darkness to reconcile what was broken to Himself at the cross. So Now for the ones who have been enlightened, He has commissioned us, entrusted us, to take this same message, the gospel, to those headed for the concrete.

Now try to grasp this. The God of the universe, who created EVERYTHING, knows every small detail down to why atoms bond together how they interact to hold things together, to how proteins are formed inside our body so that we survive. He knows everyone who has ever lived and who will be born...this same God, a mighty King, humbled himself, stepped off His throne to such a low state that He was born in a manger, ridiculed, despised and rejected throughout His life and eventually died a thief/murderers death while remaining silent. And He did this for me. For you. There is no greater love than this... Now I don't know the equivalent of that...but surely that's worse than you or I becoming a worm?