tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-55343450551405409942024-02-20T13:22:40.986-06:00Justa Bloggin'Jasonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13841700179640389365noreply@blogger.comBlogger26125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5534345055140540994.post-54634977467938508502015-04-20T21:11:00.000-05:002015-04-20T21:11:03.765-05:00Life is Good<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.3800000000000001; margin-bottom: 10pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Haven was 11 days old when Anne hesitantly told me she had something she wanted me to see. I strained to see a very dim second line on a pregnancy test, and at that moment I realized I was now a father. The verb</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> father</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> means to procreate and according to that pregnancy test, I had done just that. </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhwmBehKvM0QMwv-adOp2GBdEjqMKI7xalcuFpZNvY9KirXjIXZMNDYECQy7YArhbd6T_WUeq89IBebjHF_hInRng7Q-vlgIKC-kHcz6MjZqoM54lC1NMqAoG6WVa0CXdgGnFwrydeqyOL/s1600/pregannounce.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhwmBehKvM0QMwv-adOp2GBdEjqMKI7xalcuFpZNvY9KirXjIXZMNDYECQy7YArhbd6T_WUeq89IBebjHF_hInRng7Q-vlgIKC-kHcz6MjZqoM54lC1NMqAoG6WVa0CXdgGnFwrydeqyOL/s1600/pregannounce.jpg" height="277" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.3800000000000001; margin-bottom: 10pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The ability to procreate. Wow. The more I read and researched about what fruit she was compared to at each week, the more I was amazed about what goes on behind the scenes to form what I would one day hold as my little girl. There’s an amazing video that shows the science behind what happens at conception. At the moment, when my genetic code combined with Anne’s, everything about Haven was decided. Hair color, eye color, height, nose shape – the hundreds of traits that would one day have us asking </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Who does she look like?</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> were all determined in an instant. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.3800000000000001; margin-bottom: 10pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Let me paint a different picture. Of the 300 million sperm that enter the race, only a few dozen survive the gauntlet and reach the egg. And of those few dozen, only one actually fertilizes the egg. So, one out of 300 million. Your chance of winning the Powerball is 1 in 175,223,510. You do the math. And that one brave swimmer carries with it a specific message that determines everything about the baby. So when I saw that pregnancy test, this code had already been tirelessly working and carrying out the orders to form a human for 11 days. My daughter. Incredible. You can watch it </span><a href="http://youtu.be/BFrVmDgh4v4" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: blue; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">here</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> : <iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/BFrVmDgh4v4" width="560"></iframe></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.3800000000000001; margin-bottom: 10pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">My whole worldview as I knew it had been drastically altered. The question of when life began was no longer ambiguous for me. Life had been created. And I was now responsible to do everything as her father to make sure her life was protected from that day forward. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.3800000000000001; margin-bottom: 10pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">As a Christian and as a human with a conscience, I always knew abortion was wrong and that I was supposed to be pro-life. But if I'm being honest, I didn't actually care enough to say something or speak up in controversial settings. If asked, of course I’d say I’m against abortion, but more often than not, I sat passively in the bleachers and never spoke up for those who had no voice of their own. Given what I know now and what I feel in my soul, I can no longer be silent. My hands would be bloodied as each passing day many babies are never given the chance to live.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">You see, I had a choice one day. A choice that will forever be to me, the face of Haven…</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh81G4UEAT1AH5W7_VeQL6tdeug5XDjkajetnm6F_b9iYnkpvV6WqZFw5ziRFOZ82hecwW-6RHQfLIeWtyKvaO2R7Ghtjnepu2EVGBvIVXX4nMhn1WPJsuq76YINBfzHzmCpxe-zd0MOq-7/s1600/IMG_0146+(1).JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh81G4UEAT1AH5W7_VeQL6tdeug5XDjkajetnm6F_b9iYnkpvV6WqZFw5ziRFOZ82hecwW-6RHQfLIeWtyKvaO2R7Ghtjnepu2EVGBvIVXX4nMhn1WPJsuq76YINBfzHzmCpxe-zd0MOq-7/s1600/IMG_0146+(1).JPG" height="400" width="300" /></a></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.3800000000000001; margin-bottom: 10pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Going into marriage our plan was to have Anne work for two years, save up some money and then begin to try and grow our family. Little did I know that two weeks into our marriage God would gently ask me a simple question: </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Do you trust me with your family plan? </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Of course I knew the answer to this question should be yes. </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Of course I do, Father</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Calibri; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-size: 15px;">. (thought bubble.....)</span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjr1PEUGXVcjh-Wi9bRjCk941WRZ3Bl1MORJxNnq49iwHZIpo7U61a3GxnU5SnRQooK3JHG8dzUTU15r9WZ05a0AlBHEGfPOtvbTx2T6HcIjunv9gkcGVwnByGgw8IUIHf3O-j0Ce34Ae2j/s1600/familyplan.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjr1PEUGXVcjh-Wi9bRjCk941WRZ3Bl1MORJxNnq49iwHZIpo7U61a3GxnU5SnRQooK3JHG8dzUTU15r9WZ05a0AlBHEGfPOtvbTx2T6HcIjunv9gkcGVwnByGgw8IUIHf3O-j0Ce34Ae2j/s1600/familyplan.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">(We were going to be like them. So happy. So sane with their appropriately-spaced children.)</span></div>
<span style="font-size: 15px;"> </span><br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.3800000000000001; margin-bottom: 10pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">But would my leading and actions align with this new conviction? And so I hesitantly presented this dilemma to my new wife…. “Hey you know that two-year plan that we originally had, well I know it’s been two weeks but I feel like God is challenging me with this…” We talked and prayed about it and my wife graciously said she didn't have my same strong convictions, but she trusted that I had heard from God and she would trust my leading as her husband. Side note: He who finds a good wife, finds a good thing. Amen.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Because we were using a Natural Family Planning method of birth control, we knew when our chances were high to get pregnant. Which presented us with a choice because when the rubber met the road, we could stick to our original plan or throw it out the window and follow the Lord. We decided to stop living by that chart and hold our future in open hands. We look back with joy and thankfulness that we did, because that decision led us down an unknown path that required faith and trust that God knows what is best for my family. I can happily say now that the choice we made to trust God (He acted immediately) is one of the best decisions I've ever made. Had God not asked me that question in our early days of marriage, or had I made any other choice, we would not have celebrated Haven being with us for six months yesterday. When I think about the reality and the weight of that decision to trust God, I’m moved to tears. The choice to trust God produces life. John 10:10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. Life, whether spiritual or biological, comes from God and therefore it is always good, no matter the situation surrounding that circumstance.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJzXz64PzBYnsMXOGjPGz52FgDNr7paWQDCqBYgM1zHScE_uFkh_bTNEsRy7-d3vUvAOv1Zv5ilRCwZvVb0q2qOKh2Ve-FsYPmvqWhUTAnu_end-kABz5VPg_CPfxNH169xt99faYqQp5s/s1600/photo.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJzXz64PzBYnsMXOGjPGz52FgDNr7paWQDCqBYgM1zHScE_uFkh_bTNEsRy7-d3vUvAOv1Zv5ilRCwZvVb0q2qOKh2Ve-FsYPmvqWhUTAnu_end-kABz5VPg_CPfxNH169xt99faYqQp5s/s1600/photo.JPG" height="400" width="300" /></a></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.3800000000000001; margin-bottom: 10pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">So for me, the argument is not about whether or not an individual should have the choice to have a baby but really about the choice of trusting God and believing that all life is precious and good. Our story is not everyone’s. This is our own journey with the Lord. But there is a question that applies to us all: Do we believe that God is good and if so, is life from God a good gift? One cannot say yes to that question if they do not believe or know God personally. If we don’t trust him as we consider how to plan our family, the choice for them will be downstream where the water is muddy and the current is strong. Where life has already begun.</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The battle against abortion is not about pro-life vs pro-choice. It’s a gospel-centered issue seated in the heavenly realms, waged in war and waiting for those who have been given life to take a stand. If someone is desperately seeking an answer in the midst of a crisis situation, of course he or she will respond to the first lifeline thrown at them. Desperate people respond desperately. What if the first lifeline was an introduction to Christ instead of an introduction to a way to quickly and easily end a pregnancy? What if Christians didn’t condemn from afar but got their hands dirty doing the hard work? How about introducing our friends and neighbors in desperate situations to the Giver of Life before casting judgments from the sidelines? We can introduce them to One who is trustworthy and good; One who loves and knows them deeply; One who came to die so that in His death, death would be no more. We must show the world love because in the quiet waters of love, love never fails.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Haven was God’s idea not mine. And like any good architect who plans every detail of his work, God thought about every detail, every building block, every genetic pairing that would reveal his image in this perfect, without error, very good gift to us. God’s idea has a face, a personality and a purpose.</span></div>
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Jasonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13841700179640389365noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5534345055140540994.post-2178394407579710792013-07-26T14:43:00.001-05:002013-07-29T18:53:04.138-05:00Sexual ImpurityIn the 23rd day of the 6 month the Word of the Lord came to me(just being silly here) via the bible application on my smart phone. I downloaded the bible application that allows you to listen to the Word instead of having to read it and I took advantage of this opportunity on my long drive from Dallas to Ft Worth each morning. I started in genesis and progressed through each chapter. At this particular time I was in Deuteronomy and since I had not had my morning coffee, I was asking the Lord for wisdom to understand these books. A lot of the things in there were hard to swallow and I really wanted to know the importance of why God set up the laws the way He did. On this particular morning I was listening to Deuteronomy chapter 23 and these verses stood out to me:<br />
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<i>9"When you are encamped against your enemies, then you shall keep yourself from every evil thing.</i><br />
<i>10"If any man among you becomes unclean because of a nocturnal emission, then he shall go outside the camp. He shall not come inside the camp, 11but when evening comes, he shall bathe himself in water, and as the sun sets, he may come inside the camp.</i><br />
<i>12"You shall have a place outside the camp, and you shall go out to it. 13And you shall have a trowel with your tools, and when you sit down outside, you shall dig a hole with it and turn back and cover up your excrement. <span style="background-color: yellow;">14Because the LORD your God walks in the midst of your camp, to deliver you and to give up your enemies before you, therefore your camp must be holy</span>, so that he may not see anything indecent among you and turn away from you.</i><br />
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God lines up the divine order in Leviticus, Numbers and Deuteronomy showing how things should function socially and communally in order for His people to have favor and a relationship with Him. All these things are a shadow of what’s to be fulfilled in the New Testament. When someone became impure or unclean they were to leave camp for a period of time and not return until they were cleansed. Was it to isolate them to make them feel ashamed and unwanted? "Look Phillips leaving the camp again, must have had another wet dream" No! I don’t think that’s the case but rather for the very reason we see in vs 14 because God would walk among them and cannot be around anything impure and man's seed carries with it the curse inherited from the fall. It’s about Him and His glory.<br />
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I’ve been wrestling with the idea of sexual immorality lately and why this particular sin seems to plague many men and women with extreme strongholds and consequences. How you hear devastating stories about failed marriages, pastors falling into child molestation, sex trafficking and the dark stories go on and on… but when caught they always say “I never thought I would be where I am now”….. what happened?<br />
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I’ve heard and believe that sexual sin takes you down a path you don’t want to go and keeps you there longer than you want to stay. But why sexual sin vs other types of sin? Well I believe the old testament reference here and our boy Paul answers this question for us in 1 Corinthians 6:<br />
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15Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? Never! 16Or do you not know that he who is joined to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For, as it is written, "The two will become one flesh." 17But he who is joined to the Lord becomes one spirit with him. 18 Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. 19Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, 20 for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.<br />
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So this issue here is not as much about the sin but where it takes place! God does not walk among the camp like He did in the Old Testament because now as a Saint in Christ His Spirit dwells within us! However He is the same God and cannot be in the presence of what is impure and defiled. I believe, sexual sin done in the body where His Spirit is to dwell within us, is so devastating b/c it removes us from His presence (fellowship not Presence for He is everywhere and David says where can I flee from your presence). Am I saying we lose our salvation? Of course not, but we lose His presence, power and that nearness we need to overcome, “14Because the LORD your God walks in the midst of your camp, to deliver you and to give up your enemies before you, therefore your camp must be holy” God is our deliverer. He lives within us to defeat our enemies before us and we must be filled with the Spirit daily. Is sexual sin so destructive and one of the enemies best weapons because it removes the power we need in order to be delivered from the very thing we are striving to defeat? If you don’t have any money and continue to spend, you will continue to get into more and more debt. The same principle can be applied here. If we overcome sin through Jesus and if sexual sin against our body removes His presence, then do you see how this will quickly become a long dark road?<br />
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How did they get to enter back into the camp? By cleansing themselves through the washing of the water.<br />
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We’ve had that in baptism but it takes a lifelong process of confession and repentance to walk in victory and freedom. We plea the blood of the cross in humility as our Father accepts us with open arms… Don't hide from confession and repentance under the deception that “you can handle it” outside of the camp…Jesus is your sympathetic High Priest.<br />
<br />Jasonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13841700179640389365noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5534345055140540994.post-57476511061415695702013-01-22T15:09:00.001-06:002013-01-22T15:11:51.474-06:00A Fatherless America<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div class="normal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt;">One of
the most difficult parts of being a camp counselor were the Saturday afternoons
in June that inevitably brought a goodbye to the kids with whom I had just
spent two weeks. As one camper, Matt, boarded the bus to return home, he looked
back at me and said, "Jason, thanks for changing my life."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I will never forget those words. I didn't do
anything spectacular or provide any special treatment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was just as much a learner as I was a
counselor and leader. I was simply <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">available</i>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The new group of kids that would cycle
through every two weeks for five sessions was another reason to offer all I
could in hopes that they would be positively impacted.</span></div>
<div class="normal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt;">Not all
the kids who came to camp were blessed with a good family life or secure
lifestyle.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Many of the kids during the
first session were only able to come because of the generous scholarships the
camp offered underprivileged children. Carey, an interesting camper who came
from a foster home, was full of surprises.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>At the age of eleven, his voice seemed to shake the foundations of our
sturdy gym and his energy matched the Energizer Bunny.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not a day went by that Carey did not get into
some mischief or trouble.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Carey tested
my patience constantly by challenging my requests.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This erratic behavior Carey was displaying is
expected from a child who is not raised in a healthy stable environment with
consistent discipline from a father motivated by unconditional love<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">.</b> <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Studies have shown that children who grow up
in single parent homes, particularly without fathers physically and/or
emotionally present, are more likely to abuse alcohol or drugs, struggle with
identity issues and psychiatric problems and are at a dramatically greater risk
of suicide as David Brent points out in his study of Post Traumatic Stress Disorders.
He says that “teens living in single-parent families are not only more likely
to commit suicide but also more likely to suffer from psychological disorders,
when compared to teens living in intact families.”</span></div>
<div class="normal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt;">Unfortunately
these issues do not only affect foster children or kids who grow up in poverty,
but permeate all socioeconomic levels and cultures.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had another camper named Marcel, who was an
emotionally neglected teenager from a wealthy, French family. His behavior
resembled Carey in that he wanted sought to fight me on everything I asked.
Early on, I resolved in my heart that despite his disobedience, I would
continue to pursue him so that he knew he was valuable regardless of how hard
he tried to push me away.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After many
challenges, long conversations, and moments of resistance, I believe Marcel
finally felt loved.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He hugged me tightly
on the last day of camp and with tears streaming down his face, said he didn’t
want to leave.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wondered how the
defiant teenager I had met two weeks ago could be so unraveled about having to
leave now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I looked around and saw
parents hugging kids, kids cheerfully explaining everything that happened
during their stay at camp and my heart broke for Marcel. Nobody was there to
pick him up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>His parents were oceans
away and he would return home only to stay with his aunt.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So what had shifted in Marcel’s heart?</span></div>
<div class="normal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt;">In
August, I traveled to Uganda with a team to work with those affected by the
rebel-led war. We visited one particular village that had been heavily assaulted
by the rebels.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They killed many adults
and left behind over 400 orphans.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The
orphans were either taken in by relatives or now cared for by older siblings.
An elder of the village shared with us the need for assistance because they
could not care for all of the orphans.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Since the orphans were not receiving direct parental attention, they
were beginning to become a problem in the village by stealing and acting
destructively. Without proper guidance and left to their own devices, they were
making poor choices and heading toward a bleak future.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="normal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt;">What I
have observed from being a camp counselor, traveling overseas, and even
mentoring a young man from south Dallas who grew up in poverty with a single
mom, is that kids are in dire need of love and attention, most of all from
their parents. When these basic needs are not met, they will turn to something,
or someone, to artificially meet these needs which most often leads to a
lifestyle of broken hearts and bad decisions.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I believe the best and most important platform to meet these needs
should be within the family unit.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If I,
being a complete stranger, am able to make an impact on someone else’s child
within such a short amount of time, how much more would the unconditional love
of a parent dramatically and positively affect a child?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If my generation lives with this reality in
mind, the choices of who we choose to marry and how we choose to parent our
children becomes of utmost importance.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="normal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt;">Early
in their adolescent years, we have the duty to begin to teach and model for our
children the role they will someday have to raise and nurture children
responsibly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Should we continue to live
in ignorance or in denial of this issue; the effects of a fatherless America will
continue to leave behind a wake of broken relationships, pain, drug and alcohol
abuse, and confused identities.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My hope
is that we wake up to the gravity of our choices and ability to shape the
future through the lives of our kids and embrace this role with ferocious
tenacity to win back our youth.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="normal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt;">I
recently witnessed the powerful impact of choosing to invest in the life of a
child in a short documentary about a family who adopted eight children from
around the world.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One of their adopted
sons is from Bangalore, India and was born without arms.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He said that being born with such a physical
deformity is seen as a curse in India and if he had not been adopted he would
have been neglected to the point of death.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Another adopted son, also without arms, has learned to play the cello,
guitar, bass and piano with his feet.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In
an article in Washington Times, the mother said “Both boys are very sensitive
to the needs of the less accepted members of society or those with special
needs, primarily because they realize they were given the gift of a second
chance; that they are where they are today because someone accepted them
unconditionally and believed in them.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
believe that the gift of family and unconditional acceptance, as demonstrated
here, is an empowering life-changing tool that will create world changers with
the drive and passion to positively impact future generations. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt;"><a href="http://vimeo.com/55307071">Adoption Link</a> </span></div>
<div class="normal">
<br /></div>
<div class="normal">
<br /></div>
Jasonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13841700179640389365noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5534345055140540994.post-87603066815570377552012-11-27T08:57:00.000-06:002012-11-27T08:57:21.518-06:00Cecilia This is a story from Jeremy (same guy from Knowing God and what He does blog) in my small group. Would stories like these become contagious...<br />
<br />
"For
about a year now, I've been going to the 6:30am mass on weekdays about
twice week at All Saints because it's on the way to work and they have
Eucharistic Adoration afterward. I wasn't originally planning to go this
morning because I had stayed up too late last night, but I ended up
waking up at 5:30am anyway and going to mass almost out of habit.<br /><br />After
Mass, I went to the chapel to pray. My prayer time seemed really dry this morning at first, but I thumbed
through the Bible and came across <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Baruch%204:30&version=CEB" target="_blank"><b>Baruch 4</b></a>. I read that chapter and verse 30 stood out<b> <i>"he who named you will comfort you." - </i><a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Baruch%204:30&version=CEB" target="_blank">Baruch 4:30</a><i> </i></b>The
verse stood out to me, but I didn't know why. I also glanced at the app
on my phone and noticed that tomorrow is the Feast
of St. Cecilia. I don't know why it stood out to me either. I normally
don't bother to look at the day ahead, but I did this time. I looked at
the time (7:40am) and got up to go to work.<br /><br /> As I was leaving though and walking out to my car, I heard a voice in my head (not out loud) that said <i><b>"go back to the Holy Water fount." </b></i>I paused for a second and thought <i><b>"I
already went to the Holy Water fount on the way into Mass and
afterward. There's no reason to go BACK to it ---besides it's 30 feet
away."</b></i> <br /><br />I started to keep walking to my car, but then
decided to turn around go back. It seemed like such a direct command
that I didn't want to just disregard it. <i>(even though I figured it was just one of my own random thoughts).</i><br />I
made the sign of the cross with the Holy Water and then started to walk
back out of the church and to my car. As I was walking though, a lady
came out of the Eucharistic chapel and for a moment she was walking
right next to me. Neither of us said anything, but I felt like I heard
the voice again saying to <b><i>"pray for her."</i></b> So I started to pray silently <i><b>"Lord, bless her... I hope she has a great day..." </b></i>Then the voice was a bit more direct: <i><b>"Pray for her!" </b></i><br />I felt awkward, but I tried to strike up a conversation by saying <b><i>"hello."</i></b> She said <b><i>"hello" </i></b>back but didn't say anything else. I thought "<b><i>well, I tried.. That's all I can do."</i></b> Finally I turned to her and asked directly if I could pray for her. <u>Then I noticed that her eyes were watering. </u><br /><b>I found out she has advanced Melanoma and is going to the doctor's office this afternoon for more tests.</b> <b><u>She may find out today if they have to remove her leg.</u></b>
I gave her a hug and prayed out loud for her and she broke down crying
in my arms. She is a RN herself so she knows a lot about her own
condition from treating others for 20 years. She mentioned how she was
able to comfort others, but not herself. Her son is my age, 34 but is out of town and not able to be with her today. <br /><br />I asked her name and she said it was <b>Cecilia. </b>I pointed out that tomorrow is the Feast of St. Cecilia <i>(her patron Saint). </i>She
wasn't aware of the Feast day, but knew about St. Cecilia and mentioned
that she was named after a church (St. Cecilia's) in the town where she
was born. I talked to her about St. Cecilia briefly and how she had
been known for <b>praising God with joyful song even during some really dire moments</b>.
Cecilia (this lady) mentioned she was a singer and we talked about some
of her favorite hymns. I mentioned that God had chosen her name and
that he would comfort her. I prayed for her again and then she left. I
mentioned I would be praying for her this afternoon at <b>1:00pm</b> which is when her appoint is scheduled."<br />
<br />
Jasonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13841700179640389365noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5534345055140540994.post-8524808896557183092012-08-03T15:16:00.000-05:002012-08-03T15:16:01.807-05:00WWJD<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
The cursor is blinking on and off at me as I stare at a
blank page.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve put writing this post
off for too long now, despite the fact that I felt the Lord leading me to share
this story a while back.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So for that I
repent. My procrastination has put me in the middle of this Chik-Fila uproar and
has me thinking much about my beliefs and the Kingdom of God.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I honestly caught myself thinking on Wednesday,
What would Jesus Do or better known as WWJD.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I know the “blogosphere” has erupted over this issue, everyone trying to
voice their opinion, and honestly I have read some good blogs. I, however, do
not feel the need to enter into the debate because honestly it feels like a
bloody game of red-rover, an us versus them mentality, and Jesus would probably
bend over and begin writing in the sand right about now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So let’s put the attention on Him. He
deserves it and He can handle it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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My intentions are to write this to an audience who would
call themselves believers. So if that’s you, please keep reading if that’s not
you then you are more than welcome to read as well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you’ve rallied behind your belief system
with fellow believers due to recent events, I encourage you to continue to support
what you believe in on a more consistent basis. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Stand up for what you believe, yes and amen,
that is Love God and Love People. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Before
you get angry and feel like I am attacking, let me explain how I believe we
could make a greater impact in our community and city while sending a more
positive message on what it means to be a Christian than just eating chicken.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m not saying I am God’s answer to Dallas. I
am surely not perfect and have much to improve on and I am convicted that I don’t
have more stories to tell like the one I am about to share. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At first I was hesitant to share because I
didn’t want it to be about me, so May God be given the Glory.</div>
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<br /></div>
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We see them everywhere. While waiting at a red light.
Getting gas. Coming out of the grocery store. Or walking downtown. They’ve been
given the identity “homeless” based off of their present reality which is a
direct attack against their God given value as created in His image.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We try to avoid making eye contact because we
don’t want to feel ashamed for saying no or pretending like we can’t help.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We justify our decision by thinking “they’ll
probably just use the money I give them to pay for alcohol or drugs and so I
don’t want to enable their behavior.” I’ve thought that, you probably have as
well and as reasonable as that sounds, we aren’t responsible for their actions,
we are only called to give.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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<span class="woj"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><sup>37 </sup>Then
the righteous will answer him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and
feed you, or thirsty and give you drink?</i></span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> <span class="woj"><sup><span id="en-ESV-24043">38 </span></sup>And when did
we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you?</span> <span class="woj"><sup><span id="en-ESV-24044">39 </span></sup>And when did we see you sick
or in prison and visit you?’</span> <span class="woj"><sup><span id="en-ESV-24045">40 </span></sup>And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to
you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.’</span></i></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span class="woj">So it is my privilege and honor to introduce
you to Justin and Allyson and how our paths crossed several months ago. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was a typical drive home from work.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I would frequently check Google maps from
time to time looking for any hint of red, hoping to not get stuck in traffic so
that I could hurry home, change and make it to spin class in time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I exit Webb Chapel off of 635 and try to
accelerate in order to make it through the light before it turned red.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It turned red and I got caught waiting.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Out of my driver’s side window I notice a
woman who couldn’t be older than I was.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Wavy
red hair pulled back in a pony tail, glasses, staring expressionless and
holding a sign that said “lost everything.” <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I quickly look in my coin stash and pull out
what I had and manually rolled down my window in order to engage her in a
conversation before the light turned green.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I ask her what happened and she says that she had lost everything in a
fire.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I give her the money and say I’m
sorry that it isn’t much but she smiles and says thank you anything helps.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At that time the light turns green and in
order to prevent everyone from getting angry behind me, I had to say goodbye
and drive away.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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However, I didn’t leave feeling like I made a difference.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In that short exchange of words, somehow I
had seen this young woman not as homeless but through the eyes of Jesus.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was thinking to myself that I wish I could
do more and then I hear that soft loving voice, you can do more.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then the other voice, you gave her what you
had, you’re almost home now and if you turn around you’ll be late and miss your
spin class.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So I get home, change into
my workout clothes all the while feeling uneasy and trying to distract myself
from the calling to do more…but I couldn’t.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Not this time.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I got back in my car and parked across the street from her
in the Cinemark 17 parking lot and called her over to me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She shyly walks across the intersection and
meets my eyes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She recognizes me, smiles
and then says hello.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I tell her I want
to do more for her, and asked to buy her dinner and place her in a hotel room
for the night.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She steps back, puts her
hands to her face and starts crying, “Are you serious?” Yes. “Oh my goodness,
that means I would get to take a shower.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It’s been so long since I’ve been able to take a shower!” She then tells
me she is married and asks if it would be ok for her husband to come too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I say of course and she goes and gets him
from under the overpass.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I meet Justin
and escort them to my car.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I ask them what
they want to eat and they pick Whataburger across the street. When we pull up
at the drive-through window and I ask what they want, Allyson gets the biggest
smile on her face and says “Can we get anything we want?” As if I took a kid to
a candy store for the first time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
order their food for them and as we wait in line, I just begin asking them
about their life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A series of
unfortunate events happened, involving car wrecks, Justin injuring his back and
being unable to work and then the kicker: The fire: that had left them homeless
since August with no family to help them out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I listened to their story and entered their world.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Had that happened to me, I would have had
friends and family members to take me in.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>They weren’t fortunate to have this blessing so what do you do?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well, you begin panhandling and “begging” for
money so that you can eat.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They told me awful
stories of how people would treat them and harass them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How cops would be called on them and they
would be issued tickets. How they can’t find a job because they don’t have
clean clothes or a way of looking presentable enough to hire. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How life would be so unbearable at days where
it took all that was within her to wake up and stop crying.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But she was still able to say “we have our
days but at least we have each other” and see the positive things in life. Wow.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I take them to a hotel and pay for their room.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Afterwards, I walk up to their room and help
Allyson carry her bag.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Allyson
immediately turns the heater on blast.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>At this time, I silently pray, Lord let them see you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I begin to share why I stopped, why I came
back and try to put into words the best I can that Jesus loves them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Boldness overcomes me and I have a deep
desire to leave them with more than just a “fish” but want to enable them to
get a job as well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So I look at Justin
and ask him if I can pray for his back.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>He says sure and so I place my hand on his back and pray.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I ask him how it feels. He moves around and
says a little better but pain and discomfort are still there.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I say ok again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I pray again and when I ask him this time how
he feels his eyes get really big, he looks at his wife and says “oh my gosh, it’s
gone!” He starts twisting back and forth. I ask if he was able to do that
before and he says no and then bends over to touch his toes! Ha. He keeps
saying over and over oh my gosh babe it’s better I can’t believe this and to
him it was more than just a physical relief but went so much deeper.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I could see the way he looked at his wife and
for the first time I saw hope in his eyes that maybe now I can provide for you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You can’t imagine the weight and burden he
must be carrying to look at his wife everyday and know that he was incapable of
providing a safe place for her to live.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>And now he has hope.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I let them eat so
that I could go buy them clothes to wear in order to job search the next
day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After an hour or so of shopping I
return with the goodies, hoping I got the right sizes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Justin was out walking, looking for a laundry
mat, thankful that he could walk pain free.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Allyson was enjoying tv, thankful that God was near.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I pray for her and leave them with some extra
cash and a bible. She hugs me and says thank you so much and I leave with a
heart full of joy and love amazed at God’s goodness, thankful that he used a
hesitant person like me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So if you see
Justin or Allyson out, please send them my greetings.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If you’re still reading, first of all thank you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Second, I can imagine something is tugging at
your heart as well and you’re wondering what you can do to help and make a
difference in someone’s life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There are
many things you can do but my first recommendation would be to develop a
lifestyle that knows and walks with Jesus.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Get use to His presence and his leading, being sensitive to his voice.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This story would have been totally different
had I continued to ignore that small voice and went to workout instead.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We can muster up the ability to serve people
on our own for a season, but it’s much more powerful and effective if we do it
out of love for Him and his people.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Next, start taking steps of faith and allow God to dream bigger things
within you and then start sharing your stories with others.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I shared this with the lady cutting my hair
and the next time she cut my hair she was telling me how it affected her and
how she was looking for ways to help others and my story encouraged her to do
so.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There is enough negative news
broadcasted, I think it’s time we balance that with positive stories of how
Jesus really treated people. </div>
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<br /></div>Jasonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13841700179640389365noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5534345055140540994.post-26212561503334168692011-07-14T10:48:00.007-05:002011-07-14T10:57:10.244-05:00Undeserved GraceEvery morning I drive a 30 minute commute from Dallas to Fort Worth and instead of listening to Kidd Kraddick, I have tried to make the most of my time by renewing my mind through worship and listening to the bible on my phone. I started doing this in May 2010 in Genesis and am just now finishing up in Matthew! Well this morning while listening to Matthew chapter 27 I had to pause it and re-read what I thought I had just heard:<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">38Then two robbers were crucified with him, one on the right and one on the left. 39And those who passed by derided him, wagging their heads 40and saying, "You who would destroy the temple and rebuild it in three days, save yourself! If you are the Son of God, come down from the cross." 41So also the chief priests, with the scribes and elders, mocked him, saying, 42 "He saved others; he cannot save himself. He is the King of Israel; let him come down now from the cross, and we will believe in him. 43 He trusts in God; let God deliver him now, if he desires him. For he said, 'I am the Son of God.'" 44 And the <span style="font-weight: bold;">robbers </span>who were crucified with him also reviled him in the same way.</span><br /><br />Now, the reason I had to pause it is because I heard “robbers”, plural not singular, and I know from reading Luke that one of the criminals crucified with Jesus was suppose to be with Him in paradise that same day, so how could he have mocked him…<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">39 One of the criminals who were hanged railed at him, saying, "Are you not the Christ? Save yourself and us!" 40But the other rebuked him, saying, "Do you not fear God, since you are under the same sentence of condemnation? 41And we indeed justly, for we are receiving the due reward of our deeds; but this man has done nothing wrong." 42And he said, "Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom." 43And he said to him, "Truly, I say to you, today you will be with me in Paradise."</span><br /><br />So of course I began to debate with myself searching for truth and what was truly happening here! How can Matthew say both robbers mocked Jesus and then Luke described the insults of only one man?!? How have I not seen this before? Did one get it wrong? Misspell? Are they contradicting each other? A skeptic would love to get his hands on this and tear it apart I thought…<br /><br />And then the Holy Spirit reminded me of my own journey and how both accounts are true and accurate.<br /><br />You see, at the age of 11 as I sat in my chair at church, I don’t remember what the pastor preached about or if he was even inviting people up to the front, but I do remember my heart beating in my chest, my body feeling light, knees feeling weak and hearing a clear voice inside my head prompting me to get up out of my chair, walk down the aisle and with tears rolling down my face, confess my need for Jesus and desire to get baptized in front of the congregation. My faith was given to me by God. I don’t know how long God had been calling me unto Himself and on exactly what day you would have considered me “saved.” But I do know if I were to have walked out of church that day and for whatever reason been killed in an accident, I would have been with Him in paradise.<br /><br />Ok so how does this have anything to do with the difference between the two accounts of the robbers mocking Jesus? Let me explain…<br /><br />Prior to my salvation I was both separated and an enemy of God. For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. I denied and mocked Him with my words and lifestyle. Following my salvation and baptism at the age of around 15, I blatantly, although knowing God and truth, ran from Him and rejected Him in my choices and desires and it wouldn’t be until I turned 20 that I got tired of running and surrendered my life whole heartedly to Him.<br /><br />The beauty of the gospel is I’m getting something free that I don’t deserve! And it’s not based on what I do or do not do but God’s pleasure in Himself and our delight in Him. John Piper states it this way “The gospel is a gospel of grace! And grace is the pleasure of God to magnify the worth of God by giving sinners the right and power to delight in God without obscuring the glory of God.” In no other religion do we see this. God becoming humbled as man and providing us a way to delight with Him forever as we are now, fully knowing even our future sins and denial of Him at that moment. And He still loves us.<br /><br />So that’s why I know both accounts are true, yet a snap shot of different events at different times. I don’t know if the robber who became a believer mocked Jesus prior to or after Jesus told him that day he would be with Him in paradise. Perhaps as the pain and agony grew more and more intense, he found himself questioning like John the Baptist are you the one or should we expect another or maybe before his confession he joined with the crowd and the other robber mocking Jesus and the kindness of Jesus eventually led him to repentance… But it doesn’t matter when it happened because Jesus has absorbed all past, present and future sins and the truth of knowing this brings me great joy to realize I’m not perfect and God doesn’t delight in me on my “good” days and hide from me on my “bad” days.<br /><br />Ha the funny thing that as I was writing this God affirmed this by a song that came on my Pandora station, How Deep the Father’s love for us. Check out the following vs:<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Behold the Man upon the cross, </span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">my sin upon His shoulders.</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Ashamed, I hear my mocking voice </span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">call out among the scoffers.</span><br /><br />Jesus came for the sinners not the righteous. He called Peter to Himself and on that same day He knew that Peter would deny Him 3 times in the near future, yet this was one of His closest and most loved allies. This undeserved Grace frees us from shame and guilt and allows us to enjoy Him to the fullest and walk out in Power even when we fail.<br /><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><iframe src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/Voawjjqg8zw" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="349" width="425"></iframe></span><a updated="true" href="http://www.youtube.com/redirect?q=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DVoawjjqg8zw%26fmt%3D18&session_token=-Q6fvb6BpibeivUiyR5qS-pw2e18MTMxMDc0NTE3OEAxMzEwNjU4Nzc4" target="_blank" title="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Voawjjqg8zw&fmt=18" rel="nofollow" dir="ltr" class="yt-uix-redirect-link"></a>Jasonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13841700179640389365noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5534345055140540994.post-90723497542422309702011-02-09T16:06:00.004-06:002011-05-13T12:45:48.707-05:00Persevere in Patience<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6oQLio0VUBJF0ZXJk_sCbZYLbAHEnpx8PNzcOiV76AUB0our7zh6ETMJ3okRifu9kQHOVqkHoJpyI-epNrn3BxQ0RUXZXY1CoCFnVdNrI38Ocb3xc93NkZAecr9zzRPrTAAa84389Ir_a/s1600/stalker.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 277px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6oQLio0VUBJF0ZXJk_sCbZYLbAHEnpx8PNzcOiV76AUB0our7zh6ETMJ3okRifu9kQHOVqkHoJpyI-epNrn3BxQ0RUXZXY1CoCFnVdNrI38Ocb3xc93NkZAecr9zzRPrTAAa84389Ir_a/s320/stalker.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5606258304101491058" /></a><br />Two blogs in a week!? I guess snow/ice days do serve a purpose or maybe I shouldn't be so lazy and write more?.... 3 months later. Ok So I was going to delete this first sentence because obviously I didn’t finish this blog entry when I initially started back in February, but thought it would give it character by leaving it. Now trying to remember what I was going to say….hmmm<br /><br />Well my faithful readers, those who read to kill a blue jay, already know that I started hunting at a very early age. If you didn't read that post, well now you know hunting and being outdoors was something transcribed into my DNA from my father, his father, his father etc. etc. Don’t worry this doesn’t end badly like it did for the baby duck…<br /><br />Deer hunting was something I did faithfully every year until I went off to college when my schedule got busier and we lost our lease. So with that said, I had not been deer hunting for about 8 years and I finally got to go this past December! You can imagine the amount of excitement and anticipation I had when invited to go on this hunt. I can’t explain it, but I seriously come alive when outdoors and it was a much needed escape from the city to enjoy some masculine activities. <br /><br />The morning hunt was designed to let some of the guys who had never been hunting take the first shots. Therefore, I did not have a gun but served as a guide or mentor instead (you can’t imagine how difficult this was for me, but I submitted) and ps ask Justus about his experience ha. I didn't think I would get to officially "hunt" since we could only take 3 does and there were about 4 guys who had never hunted before and they were obviously top on the list. Regardless, I was excited to be in the woods. However, due to prior engagements… Christmas parties, 2 of the 4 had to leave after the morning hunt because the “ladies” needed them there. Whatever. I didn’t mind because that meant I would get to hunt that evening! <br /><br />So after an afternoon of shooting targets, competition and blowing things, up it was now time to return to the woods. I chose not to take a gun, instead I wanted to challenge myself and go bow hunting since I had never tried it before. I positioned myself in a tripod about 20 yards from the feeder at approximately 3:30 pm, just in time for the sun to start its descent and remain in my eyes the remainder of the evening. Now I need to preface some things about myself in order for this to bear any weight or fruit. I’m not the most patient person. In fact when I was a child, in the period of time when my mom would fill up my bottle and place it in the microwave to warm it up, I would already be screaming “I want my bobble and I want it now!!” Geez kid chill and suck on the pacifier. In fact it was the lack of patience for my campers one summer that brought me to the end of my rope and the Word of God which eventually led to my spiritual awakening. So let’s just say I’ve come a long way but definitely prone to do things myself or get irritated if things don’t happen in the time frame that I think they should. I.e. traffic and I fight a lot. <br /><br />Anyways back to the hunt… 15 minutes go by, nothing. 30 minutes go by, I hear something behind me and I get excited but it’s just a dumb squirrel. One hour passes still nothing, much of this time my vision is limited because I’m trying to avoid looking out straight and risk any permanent eye damage from the bright sun. Confession, smart phones had not been invented when I went hunting growing up and so every now and then when I got bored I would pull out my phone and check facebook or something haha. I repent… 2 hours of not seeing one deer surpasses, my phone’s almost dead and I am now fidgety and antsy as can be. BUT then… I look over to my left and about 200 yards out I see 3 deer grazing in the field. I look down at my watch and realize I maybe have 30 minutes of daylight left. At the rate they were walking and the direction they were heading, there was no way they’d make it to close enough to me before the sun had set. If I had a gun that would be fine, but I had a bow and arrow and last I checked I wasn’t Robin Hood and William Wallace uses a sword so basically I needed to be closer. I quickly decided to try and sneak my way to get into position where I could possibly take a shot. I scurry through the woods last of Mohican style (crouching) and pop out, legs burning, panting, about 50 yards from where they were. At this point I am close enough to see them clearly, and to my disappointment they are very small bucks, probably just hitting puberty. <br /><br />I watched them graze for several minutes before deciding I needed to get back to the stand and fetch my flash light before it got too dark. I walked slowly back through the woods hoping that tomorrow morning my luck might be better. As I come out to the clearing on the other side, I abruptly stop in my tracks because I spotted deer at the feeder. They are looking right at me so if I move they’d run away. Finally after what seemed like a long stare down, they slowing lose interest in me and continue eating the corn. I however was stuck in a spot about 80 yards too far to do anything about it. There were about 3 nice size bucks along with their girlfriends and I had to watch them from a distance as the sun slowly set behind the hills. <br /><br />During that time God really started to speak to me about patience and how if I would have only waited 5-15 more minutes, He would have brought them to me. Instead I was distracted by something in the distance and decided to act on my own free will. I then started to think about all the times I had been impatient and tried to make things happen on my own and the consequences from those decisions. And I was really struck with conviction from my lack of trust in God at times and how it was fleshed out in impatience. <br /><br />How many of us have tried to walk in the will of God, remaining steadfast in His calling, only to be distracted or led astray because too much time had passed and we gave into the lie that He forgot about us? Is this not similar to what happened to Abraham when he took matters into his own hands and slept with his servant Hagar? So we see Abraham’s impatience or lack of trust in God led to the law and slavery to the law or a self righteous mentality, a will of our own, through the covenant at Mount Sinai (see Galatians 4:21-31). However, it was through the covenant with Abraham and the seed in Sarah that the promise was given and that is where we find our freedom, God’s blessing and joy… Patience represents God’s promises, blessings and His mercy in our lives. <br /><br />Persevere in Patience. He is good, He does not forsake, He who calls you is faithful and He will surely do it. Do not give up, do not waiver, He will not forget you. If you’re waiting on a spouse, do not settle. If you’re praying for a family member, do not give up. If you’re struggling with finances, don’t stop giving. If you’re trying to have a child, don’t lose faith. If you’re seeking healing, keep on fighting. I know it’s hard and it may seem like eternity but He is always there. I do not say this in vain but as someone who has repeatedly learned the hard way and His way is better. If His eyes are on the sparrow how much more are they on us who are called according to His purpose? Walk in faith, cling to His promises and set your eyes on Him and be assured that during the process time is not being wasted but you’re becoming more like Him. … “because we know that suffering produces perseverance” Romans 5:1-5 and “Consider it pure joy when you face trials of many kinds…” James 1:2.Jasonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13841700179640389365noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5534345055140540994.post-33946916741331537502011-02-02T14:39:00.006-06:002011-02-03T12:16:17.560-06:00Knowing God and what He doesIn early July the Lord started speaking to me about the balance of knowing Him and knowing what He does. Specifically out of Judges 2:6:<br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">6 After Joshua had dismissed the Israelites, they went to take possession of the land, each to their own inheritance. 7 The people served the LORD throughout the lifetime of Joshua and of the elders who outlived him and who had seen ALL the great things the LORD had done for Israel...10 After that whole generation had been gathered to their ancestors, another generation grew up who knew neither the LORD nor what he had done for Israel. 11 Then the Israelites did evil in the eyes of the LORD and served the Baals.</span><br /><br />I started to study the differences between the generation that was brought out of Egypt, the generation that stepped out in faith crossed the Jordan and took the promise land and then the generation that rose after and turned to other idols. What I found was the generation that both knew God and knew what He did, saw that not one of God's promises to them failed...that every inch of ground that the soles of their feet traveled was given to them. I want to be a part of a generation that lives in radical obedience to the Lord. This blog gives a small example of what it can look like when we apply what we know about Him in steps of faith.<br /><br />I feel like those who have grown up in the church know a lot about God via what they have learned through veggie tales, reading the bible, numerous books, podcasts etc...I think you get the idea... However, when asked how have you seen God move or how has He used you, the memories are scattered or the answers are different from what we see demonstrated throughout the bible. Now I wrestle with this. Because I read the bible and desperately want to see those things in my life. I believe God is full of adventure and when we step out in faith and obedience we are stepping into an adventure with Him.<br /><br />I co-Lead a small group of men down in Dallas and one of the things we really wanted to start pressing in 2011 is intercession and evangelizing.<br />So last night was our night to go out into Dallas and see what God had for us. <br /><br />I had got an idea from listening to one of Matt Chandler's earlier sermons and a testimony I recently heard from one of my friends. So what Preston (co-leader) and I did was shared some examples of how we've listened to God and then respond by approaching a stranger and then praying/talking with them and how we are trying to cultivate an environment of obedience whether we see any fruit from that conversation or not.<br /><br />Next I told them I was going to turn on one song and during that song I wanted them to ask God two questions 1. Where do I go 2. What does he/she look like? and then write down the first thing they either see or hear...<br /><br />After the song was over everyone shared what they got and one of the guys, Jeremy, said he saw Cafe Brazil on Oak lawn and a guy in a white sweater, worn out jeans and then said he could have been just day dreaming or something haha. We then had everyone pair up and then go out (Luke 10)... I paired with Jeremy and took a new guy named Mark since he didn't hear or see anything. Jeremy continues to explain that he probably saw Cafe Brazil because he ate there two weeks ago and a white sweater because his roommate had one on earlier that day, so I'm like Jeremy shut up, we are going haha.<br /><br />Mark is evidently skeptical about the whole thing because he had never done anything like this before. He doesn't really want to go and I could just see the tension and fear he had. (He explains later that he thought we were all crazy as we were listening to God and trying to get our "mission.")<br /><br />We finally arrive to cafe brazil and even after we park, Jeremy says we can go to another Cafe Brazil if you guys want and I just ignore him and keep walking.<br /><br />We walk inside and the hostess comes up to a guy who had walked in right before us, but he directs her to us since he was there to talk with the manager about a job. She asks us,a table for how many, and Jeremy tells her its ok we are waiting on someone. The guy, who is waiting for the manager, is wearing worn jeans, a white sweatshirt with a black jacket over it so I look at Jeremy and ask if that is him. Jeremy looks at him, the piece of paper, gets a weird look on his face and says I'm not really sure (which admits later he knew it was but fear crept in haha. why we go in pairs). I get the feeling it's definitely him so we went out on the porch and waited for him to come out. He walks out shortly after us with a distraught look on his face because the manager wasn't there and had apparently told him to come in because he might have work for him. <br /><br />I introduce myself and ask him his name. Danny. I told him we were just at a bible study and while we were praying, Jeremy felt like God told him we needed to come here and talk to a guy in a white sweat shirt. He was like there's no way because I just walked in like a minute before you guys, did y'all follow me in? I said no, we didn't see you until we walked in so he was said ok I'll listen to what you guys have to say, what y'all wanna sit down or something and talk. Then he lifts up his shirt says I know the man and shows us a tattoo of Jesus on his chest haha.<br /><br />I said yes let's sit down. I didn't feel the need to talk or explain but just to pray for him. As I'm praying I just start praying identity over him and I can sense that the presence of God is starting to move because a lot of the tension was removed and peace came upon us. As we say amen he looks back up and says no really, what is this about why are you guys here?<br /><br />And I said, Danny look at me, Jesus sent us for you. We were miles away at my house and Jesus sent us here. Jeremy showed him the piece of paper that said cafe brazil, oak lawn, white sweater, worn jeans and he put his head down in his hands and just started weeping. I mean sobbing man. I look at Mark and his eyes are crazy big b/c it hit him. This was real, God sent us for Danny and his eyes begin to water as we sit around Danny and minister to him. <br /><br />Danny sobs for a good two minutes or so and finally says through the tears...I just don't understand, life has been so hard, I've been in jail for the past 4 years and just got out two weeks ago and I'm trying to find out how to live life. I can't get a job because of all these tattoos and no one gives me a chance and it's been so tough. And then you guys show up and I just don't understand. He says years ago I would have run from people like you but tonight I decided to hear you out. He said I believe and I've read that Jesus died for my sins but I'm not on the level that y'all are at. I still drink, I smoke and I just got out of jail. <br /><br />I told him that doesn't matter, that stuff is paid for at the cross. No one is perfect and that Jesus desire a relationship with him. We talk to him some more, I tell him this wasn't by accident, God loves him and He has more for him. I ask him how he feels and he says indescribable. Mark tells him, Danny you need to know that this has done so much to strengthen my faith, just your response alone has shown me how great and real God is.<br /><br />I give him the address to the upper room, a ministry in that area, because he doesn't have a phone or transportation and it's right around the corner. He gives us a group hug and says he can't wait to go tell somebody about this.<br /><br />Now I want to pause here and I want you to try and see things from Danny's perspective. A man with a past and story that most of can't even imagine. He has lived in the roughest conditions, seen the most extreme things, both sold and done drugs and in that moment, during that hour of his life, out of the 6 billion people on the face of this planet, God saw the brokenness and need in Danny's heart. And He responded, He came!!! by sending a couple of guys from a bible study to let Danny know God cares. This is something that goes far deeper than singing Jesus loves me in Sunday school. You cannot run from something like this, the revelation of His love for us changes us and strikes us at our core and we get to partner with Him showing people like Danny that He knows, He knows and that's why He came. <br /><br />...As we drive back home, Mark says I think that is probably the most amazing thing I've ever seen. That probably did more good for me than him. <br /><br />We saw what God does. Danny felt loved, Mark saw God move in power and Jeremy saw that he hears from God. It was a great night all around and there's more to be done in this city...Jasonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13841700179640389365noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5534345055140540994.post-67734345947052312052010-05-14T16:06:00.001-05:002010-05-14T16:18:25.230-05:00Perfect Love Casts out FearKnots in the stomach, increased breathing and a quickened heart rate. A pause at the intersection in the road. A decision to be made. What once wasn’t, now is. What once was effortless is now tainted with fear. Where oh fear did you leave your mark, when did your nasty bite leave it’s impression…<br /><br />The grind of plastic on pavement, the extra friction from the tripod of assembled tires, if we had to be honest…wasn’t bringing sexy back. Most have gone before me already and taken that risky step forward where balance meets gravity to glide rhythmically or crash mercilessly. Training wheels served their purpose temporarily, but it was time for that next step in the progression of every boy’s life. The drive to succeed would carry me through bloodied knees and elbows. Life constantly challenges us to measure costs with outcome and desires. My desire was to keep up with the rest of the boys; to step into more freedom and discover a concealed identity. I decided it was worth it, but I wasn’t aware that more risks and more dangers come with each step forward…<br /><br />It was a straight shot down the street for me to ride my bike directly to my cousin’s house. The bike offered a quicker means to my enjoyment. I no longer had to wait or rely on my mother’s vehicle. At her permission, and perhaps sometimes not, I was out the door doing 10 ok maybe 7mph, depending on the side cramp, to conquer Santa Fe until it got dark and I had to come home. Not only did I not need my mother’s vehicle to get me to my destination but had also gotten rid of the annoying plastic grinders at this point, but one obstacle still remained. Cujo, or how I refer to him now.<br /><br />About half way in between our houses there was a rather large dog, or hybrid of dog and T-rex, who served to guard his territory via lock and chain. He however, had no regard for the chain and would run ferociously towards me at every pass. My little legs would carry me as quickly as they could and I would not relax until the chain would catch and jerk him back. One night I’m coming back from my cousins minding my own business, wind blowing through my hair sun setting behind me. Usual routine, look for cujo, hope he’s sleeping but if not, I pick up the pace. Same thing begins: cujo barks, comes running at me, but this time there is no jerk. No twist of the body due to forward momentum being pulled back by the chain. Instead, he snapped the chain and keeps coming directly at me. I don’t have much time to think because by this time he is almost on me and so as my flight and fight syndrome kick in I scream at the top of my girlish boy voice (hey I’m only like 6) “STTTTUUUUUPPPPPPIIIIIID”!!!! No lie. I scream so loud that I think it confuses him and he ends up running right by my back tire into the ditch and the owner comes out of the house and calls him back.<br /><br />But the damage had already been done. It scared me man. I mean of course to my boys I have to pretend and say something like he’s lucky the owner came out because I was just about to get off my bike and show him who is boss in this neighborhood. But in reality deep down, fear had crept in…<br /><br />So now when I would go to my cousin’s house, instead of taking the shortest most direct route, I would circle all away around the neighborhood to avoid the beast. This event had re-wired my thinking and had entered, re-routed and effected a large part of my life. <br /><br />But is this not what fear does to us all? Does it not take what once was easy and straight forward and then complicated it by adding this heavy weight? Instead of taking what was once the quickest and most direct path to where we are going, do we not now plan around in advance to protect ourselves? I mean insert fear here. Afraid to fly? Do you not have to drive or skip out on distant trips? Broken heart in relationships? Do you not create a new route, a new way of dealing with this pain for the next relationship? So these events, whatever they may be that causes fear, do alter the way we see and perceive the world around us…<br /> So back to the story…No I’m not afraid of dogs anymore. I don’t break out in sweats, freak out and call ahead to my friends every time I want to come over asking them to pen up Benji lest he take out my ankles and leave me lame. Did it just magically go away? It didn’t do that either, but rather I had to face it.<br />First I had to admit to my mom that I was afraid and that I didn’t like going over to my cousins and if I did I would take the long way around. Then in wisdom and love (bless mother’s hearts) she knew this behavior if left unchecked or dealt with would become a serious issues. So she would start to go with me. Once I was felt comfortable with that, now she just had to watch me from the end of the driveway and eventually I only had to call once I arrived until the fear was no longer there…<br />If my earthly parent, limited in love, was able to see and know that it was not in my best interest to live with this fear how much more does our Father in Heaven love and want the same for us? So that when he sees us in our secret, knows our inner thoughts and our deepest fears, is it not in love that He would extend His hand and say “Let’s do this together. At your pace, but I’m not going anywhere.”Jasonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13841700179640389365noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5534345055140540994.post-70458537049859670942010-03-18T08:12:00.003-05:002010-04-09T13:06:08.665-05:00Learning to Let Go Part 1Growing up as the youngest boy amongst my brother, relatives and neighborhood kids, I was forced to learn how to do things quickly or I'd be left behind. I didn't enjoy games such as tag/chase because I was the slowest (shorter legs, dont hate) and if I got tagged then it would most likely remain that way until someone felt sorry for me or I quit. If we played hide-n-seek, my survival depended on a good hiding spot because I couldn't rely on my speed to take me to the safety of base. There were many times when the game would be over and I would still be left in my hiding spot, punks...training wheels were not an option for me, those extra plastic wheels only slowed me down on my bicycle, therefore it was push and crash until I succeeded.<br /><br />These events and circumstances early in life formed a lot of my personality that has carried into who I am now and why I do certain things. Competitive, self sufficient, hard on myself and wanting to come out on top. In some areas it has proved beneficial i.e. sports and academics but in other areas it can be a flaw.<br /><br />I recall one summer day when I was around 8 or so that "trying to keep up" put me into a lot of danger. It was a family/friends outing to the one and only "beautiful" coast of Galveston TX...After being covered in sunscreen by a persistent mother I proceeded to follow the older boys into the water. Let me remind you that the gulf is not a transparent crystal blue water, but more an eerie brownish green infested with seaweed and jellyfish. However, I didn't have time to think about that. My mother warned me not to go out too deep, but I quickly ignored her and was off to the races fighting through the waves in order to stay with the rowdy crowd.<br /><br />After body surfing in the waves for a bit, the older stronger boys decided to make a swim for the second sand bar. One by one they went further and further until I could only see them bobbing up and down with the waves as they made a swim for their destination. I look around, notice that I was the only one left and had two choices: stay in the shallows all by myself or make a mad swim with everyone else. So I begin to inch myself deeper and deeper, bouncing up and down with the waves, still at a place where I could stand with my head above water. Pretty soon though, the receding tide was pulling me against my will, I am drifting now, deeper and deeper. I start swimming now, discover my undeveloped arms are no match for the crashing waves. I am taken further and further away from the shore and now I begin to panic as I frantically struggle in the grips of an undertow. I scream for help towards the older boys but my cries are only drowned out by the waves and salty water filling my mouth. My survival skills kick in and I use all my energy to keep my head from going under, the harder I fought, the further I went out. Exhausted, many different thoughts start going through my mind and I begin to believe...this is it, gone in the murky waters of galveston. Seriously, I decided to just stop fighting, took a deep breath, went under water and went limp. I remember praying, God if you're listening and watching, I need your help. I am helpless and cannot do this on my own...<br /><br />1 Save me, O God,<br /> for the waters have come up to my neck.<br /><br /> 2 I sink in the miry depths,<br /> where there is no foothold.<br /> I have come into the deep waters;<br /> the floods engulf me.<br /><br /> 3 I am worn out calling for help;<br /> my throat is parched.<br /> My eyes fail,<br /> looking for my God. <br /><br />Submerged, I was being tossed to and fro with the waves and current. I had no idea where I was in reference to the shore anymore, I was at the mercy of the sea. As my lungs begin to hurt, I get this feeling inside saying come up once more. I push off the bottom, break through the surface and fill my lungs with much needed oxygen. But to my surprise I wasn't fighting the current anymore, I was standing on solid ground, water up to my chest. Alive.Jasonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13841700179640389365noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5534345055140540994.post-5856447254708990842010-03-18T08:07:00.002-05:002010-03-18T08:10:45.304-05:00Building Character Part 2...I apologize for not finishing sooner (and if you have no clue what I'm talking about you probably shouldn't continue reading this until you finish part 1, I'm just saying). The irony, however, is the connection between what happened 20 years ago on the beach to what prompted me to even tell that crazy story took much longer, hurt much more than the week I've left you hanging....so I withdraw my apology.<br /><br />So obviously my life was spared, I didn't get dragged out to sea, didn't meet Ariel...even though that would have been tight... and I'm not using the Apostle Paul's keyboard in Heaven finishing this blog. I'm in Colorado, worked hard for the past two days without much sleep and now relaxing in a hotel room in the middle of no where praying I don't get bed bugs. I'm tired and this may not make much sense but I'll give it a shot... so hang with me and hopefully it will all come together in the end.<br /><br />Life didn't slow down, it continued. I got older but my ways of thinking/behaving were already deeply ingrained and established. In fact, I read that 85% of your personality is formed between the ages of 2-6 so I guess it will take more than a drowning scare to change how I was already being shaped (not to mention I'm stubborn as well ;). Anyways with that said, even though I grew taller and faster as I adjusted to an embarrassing squeaky voice, side note: that's just an awkward time of life as it is, my performance driven attitude was already being solidified. I succeeded in school; I worked hard in athletics and won starting positions each year in the prestigious game of Texas football; I became very competitive, never wanting to fail. There was always more to attain, more room for improvement, something else to try. If I performed below my standards I would quickly adapt in order to not make the same mistake again. My life was driven by constant analysis of performance and results, finishing ahead always the priority.<br /><br />For example, I remember my first semester at Baylor.<br />ahhhh the life of a freshman as we perceive. Finally I wasn't governed by parents, sports and doing well in school to get into a good college, I just wanted to kick back and enjoy the freedom of being an adolescent out on my own, girls and partying were at the focus. I only wanted to study enough and do well enough to keep my scholarship which was maintaining a 3.2 gpa. However, when grades came back at the end of the semester I made a 3.9!?! Most would be happy with this and I was, but due to my insanity, now I knew what I was capable of making. The bar was set. So therefore the rest of what was suppose to be the "good life" would be offset by studying to maintain or improve my 3.9, but that's another story....<br /><br />I tell all of this for a reason, not to boast by any means but hoping to paint a small picture. To bring up memories, a mold, the route I traveled, who I am, why I made the choices I made, for better or worse. Because without the smallest idea of the author, then me explaining this next event will only be words on a screen to you. It will be lifeless and only a simple reading, but to me it was much more, it was real. It was life, my life crashing against something out of my control. For those who know me, you probably know exactly what I am getting to...a storm, a sea, it blind sided me and caught me quick and I didn't know what to do....it's late, im tired. will finish later....Jasonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13841700179640389365noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5534345055140540994.post-1315034360350949742010-01-06T14:30:00.003-06:002010-01-06T14:49:01.516-06:00Restoration (Part 3)Alright, alright I know this says part 3 and many will be tempted to start here and decide whether or not to read the other two (below), but that doesn't make sense...unless you are one of those people who skip to the last chapter to see what happens at the end of the book! shame on you ha! or you may scroll down and decide it's too long and don't have the time. I tried my best to set it up so that it flows in the direction of 1-3 not 3,2,1 so it probably won't make much sense to read this one first...and this is just the way it falls on the screen, sorry.<br /><br />Ok I'm stalling because honestly I'm hesitant about writing this last part. I have a lot of anxiety; It requires humility, honesty and exposing some difficult things that I really don't know if I want to make public and would probably prefer to hide, but I know its fear of what others will think that's causing me to procrastinate and ramble so I must face it. I feel prompted to share for whatever reason, in hopes that through my weakness, my experience He will be glorified, others may learn something... So let me attempt to set this up once more...<br /><br />I'm wired to be a rescuer, what can I say? It flows freely throughout my veins and has as long as I can remember. When I was put together in my mother's womb I got an extra injection of chivalry or something I guess?!? Seriously when I was five or so and just beginning to understand God and prayer, I would pray that He would make me the strongest man in the world every night, without the huge muscles and protruding veins like a body builder of course, so that I could be a hero one day. Why? Why at such a young age did I wish this? anyways, Jack Bauer, William Wallace in Braveheart, Jesus, I resonate passionately with these men. cheesy i know but oh well, my counselor once told me, "son, I'm starting to get a grasp of who you are, you're a dreamer and romantic" I don't even know what that means, I don't know why I am wired this way, I don't know if all guys are, and I don't know if it's a bad thing, but he saw something. But whether all of that is true or not or just a distorted view of reality, I found myself in a battle. Fighting for something very very important, something that I never dreamed of having to fight this hard for and never imagined it come knocking on my door so quickly. We read about it in books, watch it in movies and in some way all desire to be in it. But it wasn't like the books, it wasn't like the movies, by all angles, in every direction, however you looked at it, I was losing and in my mind, this isn't how it was suppose to be. Selah.<br /><br />I fell in love with a pretty, charming, fun, full of life single mother. We connected quickly and got married very fast and I moved out to California because she couldn't move to Tx. That's when everything turned upside down on me (or actually before that as well). We experienced some very very trivial things in month one, well basically months 1-the entire time, but I will try to stay away from the specifics because I don't want to air certain things to the public masses in order to protect and maintain some privacy. But let's just say these early trials would have rocked any newlywed foundation and without total commitment to each other, the escape button seemed the easiest way. In month two, threats of an annulment and divorce were made and the next year and a half of my life I focused on saving whatever was left...I knew the covenant I made before God, divorce runs on both sides of my family and I had made up my mind long ago that divorce was not an option for me.<br /><br />So follow this, all my life I have been performance driven, combine that with a rescuer mentality thrown into this unexpected mess, this chaos and before soon the perfect storm was formed. I began to try everything. I knew my role coming into this as a husband. To love my wife as Christ loves the church, to pursue, to initiate and to die to myself daily. But I cannot even explain accurately in words how hard this truly is...but I went for it with all the tools I had and decided it was worth it. So what do you do when everything you try fails? Nor does is produce or return any favorable results. When apologizing for mistakes, washing the dishes, cleaning house, baby sitting, love notes, prayer, endless prayer day in and day out, assistance from others, counseling, flowers, pursuing when you're literally scared/confused/betrayed, forgiving after your heart was destroyed, getting kicked out in a foreign place and living on your own but still not wanting to give up. still believing, still hoping, still loving. What do you do when none of this works?<br /><br />Now hear me out, in no way am I claiming to be perfect at all. I am definitely aware of my shortcomings and my baggage brought into the relationship, I found out I have blind spots, say dumb things, cannot meet all needs, am selfish and was quick to begin to tackle these. I'm not claiming she was 100% to be blamed either, that is not my heart in this at any level. I'm just trying to emphasize that each morning, as bad as it was and as bad as the night was before, and as bad as I thought it may be for the next 2o years, I got up ready to fight another day regardless of the circumstance and what I did or didn't know how to do. This is how I am wired, this is how I've responded a majority of my life. I was, in most cases, self sufficient. Most of the time, when I put my attention to something I succeeded, but not this time, not when it mattered most. The ground was falling out from underneath and I came to the point where I didn't know what to do. at all. Surely this has to eventually work, I thought but it didn't. and it was killing me inside, tormenting my thoughts. The harder I fought, the further out I was taken. The longer I fought, the more I tried to save, to change, to control, the deeper I fell. I struggled, tried everything in my power but like quick sand I kept sinking. why wasn't anything working....everything was waging war against me. My own marriage was falling apart and I never thought this was remotely possible...I was being humbled each and everyday, broken down piece by piece, and it was hurting. With tears streaming down my face all I could tell Him was I was sorry.<br /><br />But this is where God shines, this is when His power, His restoration is made perfect for those who are searching, reaching. 20 years ago He literally saved me when I could not fight the sea any longer, He stepped in and brought me up out of the gloomy water when I finally gave up swimming, took one last breath and truly decided I was at my end. When I let go and said, help! I need you! He didn't delay. The next 12 years or so when I did everything I could to turn from Him, chase my fantasies, my desires, living for me, He never left me. It wasn't based on my performance, what I did or didn't do but based on His love for me. His arm was always outstretched, He was constantly in pursuit. He has a purpose for me whether I see it or not. So why would He bail this time ,when, once again I was completely helpless and needed Him most?! This was the cry of my heart so let's fast forward a couple of months...<br /><br />I was driving home from work, I had just found out that she had filed the divorce papers and was having a hard time dealing with the reality. However, at this same time, I was also taking a course called Crown Financial and it happened to be the week about God being in Control of everything (how convenient). As the reality and the weight of it actually ending was starting to sink in and I began to quote the memory vs for that week, grasping for any help...I was broken and called out.<br /><br />"Everything in the Heavens and earth is yours oh Lord, this is Your Kingdom.<br />We adore you as being in control of everything. Your hand controls power and might and it is at your discretion that men are made great and given strength. "<br /><br />And for the first time in my life, THE FIRST TIME, it hit me like a flood of water, I grasped spiritually what happened physically that day on the beach, He's got me, even when I'm drowning in my own mess, He's got me. It was almost like He stepped down from Heaven sat in the seat next to me and let me know it was ok. I just have to let go and let Him. And for the first time I didn't feel like I had to do anything. Do you understand how relieving this was for me? I didn't have to perform a certain way to make something happen. I didn't have to be a certain person to be accepted. I understood that He was and always has been in control. He accepts me just as I am. The good grades, giftings, all and every accomplishment were because of Him at His discretion; the marriage failing was not my fault; this news poured over me, washing me from head to toe and it was the most freeing release I have ever felt in my life and I wish I could explain it more vividly so that everyone reading this could experience that same peace because I don't think this portrays accurately what was really happening on the inside.<br /><br />I drove the rest of the way home with tears of release, His yoke is easy and His burden is light, and the pressure of making it happen, dealing with all the thoughts circulating, all that for the rest of the 45 minute drive home was gone.<br /><br />In and of myself I couldn't save the marriage. I had tried so hard but it's out of my power. I'm not God. I can't save nor change people as much as I would like to or try. God gives us the freedom to choose and He is the one who does the saving. But I can say something was saved and changed in me and I'm the only person who can change me. What had been created and what existed in me for 26 years came to a crashing halt as I finally understood, the God of the universe being in control and caring about my life. He didn't set things in motion, sit back, fold His arms and watch from a distance but is actively involved in my life. The pride that existed, the I can do it on my own, was destroyed. and it needed to be so that He could increase. The peace that came with that is indescribable and has helped me heal very quickly and experience joy without shame or guilt. Sometimes its hard to deal with the lies that comes with being divorce and what others may think. but once again I cannot control that and choose to move forward...<br /><br />With all that said, in no way am I advocating or saying God approved of our divorce. because things were bad. I still don't know why things went the way they did, I truly don't. I do have a lot of questions. I believe His perfect will is for two people to stay married because marriage is a very special thing as it represents His covenant with His church. But He also has a heart individually for all of us. I cannot speak for her and where she is, that is between her and God, all I can say is despite my situation, my mistakes, when I needed Him, He rescued and used the storm to shape me for my good and His glory and for that I am thankful and look to Him more and more each day as I realize this is not about me. I have learned a lot. We have to lay down all expectation when entering into marriage. It's just a person we are marrying. They can't complete us, fix us or create utopia and whatever story or movie we have watched that says they can. Are wrong. But by placing our hope and commitment in Him as Savior in good times and bad, and dealing with our junk appropriately; we can be blessed with someone to truly enjoy life with...He is the author of life.<br /><br />thanks for readingJasonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13841700179640389365noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5534345055140540994.post-56564104841468312362009-12-21T19:37:00.004-06:002009-12-22T16:14:36.552-06:00The Christmas StoryLights, shopping, cold weather, carols, trees, parties,airports and traveling. This time of the year can be extremely busy and crazy. It seems like every single night there is a party or some event. I am filled with joy at how my peers remember those in need during this time and have gone well out of their way to raise awareness and support in an effort to make a difference in people's lives around the world. But even as good and important as these things are, if they are not tethered to the meta narrative that is in the gospel of Jesus Christ then I think we are missing a rather large part of our commission. It would almost be like someone taking all the time, work, effort to investment in Christmas lights but never actually plugging them into the power source. We have to open our mouths and proclaim the gospel as a reminder to ourselves of the hope we have in Jesus and to others and not just rely on our actions. Jesus asked his disciples who do people say I am, Peter steps forward and says <span style="font-style:italic;">You are the Christ the Son of the living God</span> and it is on that confession of WHO Jesus is that the church is built and the gospel lives. And so I want to remember the story and remind ourselves of why we do the things we do. <br /><br />I'm reading a book right now called "How football explains America" and basically its a book written to explain why and how football became America's sport and how it captured the hearts of the American people and why it didn't take in other parts of the world. One thing that stuck out to me was this idea centered around how most people live their lives through the stories of others... and so if this is true and I believe to a large degree it is very true, all you have to do is look at the news/magazines and tabloids to see what the latest hot gossip is, but if this is true then there is no better story to live through than the one given to us in the bible as God Himself reconciles the world back to Himself. But before we get to that let me tell one of my own...<br /><br />When I was a little boy I believed in Santa. My parents told me about Santa and how each year he got on his sleigh, flew behind magical reindeer led by one with a red light for a nose and delivered toys to boys and girls all over the world all in one night. I had such a strong belief in him because in my mind he was clearly real. I would give my Christmas list to my parents to mail to the North Pole and would then receive the presents I had asked for. To me that was evidence of his existence, end of story. Now because of my fascination with Santa and his reindeer, I had decided we were friends and I needed to meet him. But he was a busy man and so therefore I needed to catch him in my house. After many failed attempts of setting traps I decided this one year to just stay awake and witness him myself. However I knew that by myself I wouldn't be able to stay awake so I convinced my mom to remain up with me. She must have been thinking I'll give him an hour at the most and he'll pass out...oh no not me, nope I was determined and as traits hold true can be very discipline or stubborn, however you look at it, when I need to be. I made conversation with her til midnight, 1, 2, 3 and finally after she realized I wasn't going to go to sleep, my mother looks at me and says "Jason, there is no Santa now go to sleep!" ....and just walks out of my room. She leaves me in my room, open mouth, wide eyed with a disappointed broken heart! There was no Santa...but I still had the Easter bunny.<br /><br />Ok so now compare all of that to the scriptures. In Genesis 17:1-8 We see God shows up, pursues man in Abraham and says look at the stars so shall your offspring be and I will be there God. The bible follows this group of people throughout history from slavery to the promise land to king after king and victory after victory, rebellion to repentance and in this meta narrative God sends prophets as His mouth piece to remind the Israelites of all God's done and to turn from their ways lest He get angry and destroy all of them. But God remembers His covenant and as we find in Isaiah 59:16 He works salvation with His own arm and points to the coming of the Messiah...A time is coming, don't lose hope set your eyes on God because He is sending a Savior. Then everything just goes silent. For 400 hundred years all they have is their history, the Law and a prophecy about the coming of a Messiah. And I can picture a father and son on their way to sacrifice a goat and the son looking at his dad and asking how much longer do we have to do this and then hearing the hope in the father's voice as he says one day son, one day we won't have to do this anymore because God is sending someone who will bind up the brokenhearted, proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners and proclaim the year of the Lord's favor...I understood and believed in Santa for maybe 3 years and my happiness and excitement each Christmas was based on whether or not a Fat man dressed in a red jump suit brought me presents. Can you see the difference in my hope and belief compared to all of the Jews history, all they had been through, seen and heard about? Divine miracles were no mystery to them so their belief and hope for a Messiah would far exceed anything we can relate to presently.<br /><br />And then as prophecy foretold, it happens. The whole story begins to take shape as the God of the Universe steps off of His throne in Heaven is born of a virgin, walks among sinners and then is eventually killed by the very people who have longed for His coming for generation after generation after generation. <br /><br />But for the most part, this divine birth goes virtually unnoticed. And then even when Jesus begins and gets well into His ministry He is still rejected and not accepted as the Son of God. What's wrong with this picture? The Messiah, whom they have been waiting for is in the flesh standing in their midst and instead of following Him they want to kill him...? But are we really that much different? It's easy for us to sit here, read about this story and say how could they be so dumb. Because you see, the Jews had created a version of their Messiah, what they wanted and what they thought they needed in order to make them happy and serve their needs. They were looking for a physical relief to their current situation. A change in their circumstance as they were being oppressed by a very large Roman Empire. A king to actually free them physically from bondage. They had set their expectation on the idea that they knew best what would bring them the most joy. But as we saw with the woman at the well and how she was looking for physical water, Jesus didn't come to just change things on the outside but with His kingdom He gave us victory from the inside out. And they didn't get the Messiah they thought. They got Jesus. Who hung out with the poor, the sick and the sinners and always challenged their heart instead of performing every time they rang a bell. And we do the same thing. We create a version of what God can and can't do based on how we see the world and how it should work. And when God challenges those things we say that's not God He wouldn't ask me to do that or how could God allow that to happen.<br /><br />I mean look at our life, what kind of things have we placed our hope in, created, hoping that it would bring about happiness or some type of relief from our current situation? All those things will eventually let us down. My belief in Santa let me down, my hope in football let me down, alcohol, girls you name it. Everything that I pursued on my own outside of the gospel led no where but to more anger and loneliness. And it wasn't until the gospel was birthed inside my heart did I finally find true peace and hope and that is why despite having much or nothing at all we, we can find solace and rest in Him. Our joy is not dependent upon our circumstances, health or social status but everyone whether rich or poor, single or married, sick or healthy can rejoice knowing that this story is real. It's not another fairy tale made up to make us feel good. Jesus did come and because of that we have hope and life. <br /><br />And just as the Jews looked for the first coming we can now be certain of His second...<br /><br />Revelations 22:12"Behold, I am coming soon! My reward is with me, and I will give to everyone according to what he has done. 13I am the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End.Jasonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13841700179640389365noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5534345055140540994.post-62302014173490980382009-12-07T13:28:00.003-06:002009-12-07T13:50:08.416-06:00Kinsman RedeemerThe mountain before me great and tall<br />Could I go over or would I be afraid to fall<br />My heart is in this the King I know<br />Has called me to press on even through the deepest snow<br /><br />The enemy advances and weighs heavily upon me<br />I use my sword to defend my territory<br />Resisting the urge to give in now<br />Because at the name of Jesus every knee will bow<br /><br />He has chosen this for me that I may suffer with glory<br />Before the foundations of the earth He had written my story<br />That in my trials my faith would not waver<br />as Jesus came to die and became my Savior<br /><br />And so I look at this mountain before me<br />with joy in my eyes to give Him the gloryJasonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13841700179640389365noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5534345055140540994.post-28595179502932766022009-11-05T16:13:00.000-06:002009-11-05T16:15:06.017-06:00We got DucksOne spring day I walked out the back door and noticed one of our female ducks acting super weird. She had isolated herself from the others and was walking about a certain area in the backyard with several of her little ones “quacking.” As I moved in closer I could see that she didn’t respond normally by hitting 5th gear escaping into the water but was hesitant before herding the two remaining ducklings to safety. It was a rough season for her as she had started with around 10 ducklings or so and now was only down to two, so I assumed she was just being emotional. I return on my course and accomplished whatever it was I had previously sought out to do and once again I noticed she had returned to same spot acting weird and wouldn’t shut up. <br /><br />This time I move in closer to investigate and as I do so I start to hear I muffled chirp, chirp….chirp, chirp. “One, two…both little ones swimming with mom, so what is this other noise I hear?” I bend down and follow the noise, now intrigued and noticed that the grass had covered a hole in the ground that one of the ducklings had fallen into and gotten stuck. Momma duck, helpless without a thumb, couldn’t reach in and save her baby and was therefore circling this spot as they called back and forth to each other. So being the gentle hero that I am, I reach in pull the little guy out and watch peacefully as mother and baby reunite…<br /><br />They begin a victory lap around the pond, baby close by mother’s side. Not going to lie, I felt accomplished and that I did my good deed for the day and as I’m about to turn to head back inside a huge fish surfaces at eats the baby!!! Momma flips out and starts swimming in circles; my mouth is open in disbelief. Did that really just happen…? Final destination for the little guy. (but mystery was solved as to what happen to his brother and sisters!?)<br /><br />Sometimes life is like that. We climb out of one hole only to enter into a bigger one… so I went and got my fishing pole and used the others as bait, JK JK JK JK!Jasonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13841700179640389365noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5534345055140540994.post-24886839812302286712009-10-21T16:34:00.003-05:002009-10-21T16:50:07.506-05:00Getting out of the DesertOk so after camp.<br />I'm not quite sure why all of a sudden this Jesus thing started to make sense to me. But for some reason the light bulb came on while I was at camp and I made a huge switch from treating church religiously to wanting to know my creator. Before, I looked at church as a huge social gathering of hypocrites and a bunch of rules and I wanted nothing to do with it. At camp I saw that christians could have fun, they were full of life, joy, peace and they actually cared about my life...I dove deeper into the Word and God began to open my eyes, my heart to see and view things much different than I had before. I had been to many church retreats, camps and conferences growing up; heard tons of good speakers and worshiped to some great music. But it was not these things that brought me to the feet of Jesus. It was serving, being ripped open and exposed, trying to pour into the lives of 10-11 year old boys at camp. I had always struggled with patience before and since God "blessed" me with a cabin of delinquents all diagnosed with a severe case of ADD, I had to rely on Jesus. I desperately wanted to make a difference in these kid's lives (without killing them in the process, love hate, you counselors can relate =). I don't know if I ever did, but I know they helped rescue me from a well known path of darkness, self seeking, unrighteous life of debauchery.<br /><br />Camp ended. Returned back to school and I knew my lifestyles had to change. I didn't know how to do it so the only thing that made sense to me was to do the opposite of everything I was doing before, right? Go to church, stop drinking, don't date...etc. I became very legalistic and did not know how to walk out my new faith. I loved college worship on Wednesday nights! Seriously, I was like a little kid waiting for Christmas, as each Wednesday approached. This first year was definitely a honey moon experience for me. God was so real, so close. My emotions were different. I was passionate, excited to let everyone know about God, but didn't really know what to say. My friends (fraternity) did not understand my change. I went from being the life of the party (well still danced and had a good time) to the sober individual.<br />Faced a lot of different persecution and rejection but God also did many good things with new relationships/friendships being formed.<br /><br />Of course I had to go back again to camp the next summer and this year I was sooooo stoked on the way there! Got there saw tons of old friends and this time I was part of bringing the joy! It's weird how God's timing works out...<br /><br />I was on my day off with another counselor, we were out enjoying our day away from camp, and finally get to the city where our cell phones can get reception. I check my VM and as soon as my mom starts talking, I can hear it in her voice that something was wrong. She and my dad were separating. I had no clue. I had been removed from my house for two years now. I mean I always thought their relationship was different but I never assumed they would get a divorce. I immediately began to blame my father for all of this. If he would have only done this.this.this. and the list went on. I called her we talked about things. and I was left at camp to try and process through things. My faith was very strong at the time and I truly believed in Gods power to restore not only their marriage but my dad's absence as a father. I was like Go God, convict him make him change...and the next time I had a day off I get a call that my childhood dog passed away!? I was like what the heck is going on here!<br /><br />Ok I'll speed things up.<br /><br />Anyways. School/job became very demanding that year and I wasn't able to attend the college worship on wed nights as much. I was leaning on that for my spiritual filling so I quickly took a slide backwards. Come summer, before my senior year I was dealing with some issues about what I wanted to do with my future. I was also 21 now and the bar scene was new. Got caught into that for about a month but quickly felt the convicting power of the Spirit and changed that habit. This season back was different. It wasn't filled with the new sensation and fervency that I had the previous year. It was difficult, old temptations were creeping in and seemed to always be just around the corner. But this season was just as important if not more important than any other...and as I was reading Matthew just the other week I finally saw why.<br /><br />Jesus was baptized by John at the end of chapter 3, then following His baptism we find that in chapter 4 "Jesus was led by the Spirit into the desert to be tempted by the devil. 2After fasting forty days and forty nights, he was hungry." This period of temptation, the desert, was not out of disobedience but something established by the Spirit specifically for a reason. I believe this point is very pivotal and crucial leading into the rest of Jesus' ministry. It is after the resistance of temptation, overcoming Satan's attempts to lead him into destruction that He leaves and immediately begins to preach "17From that time on Jesus began to preach, "Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is near."<br /><br />I was seeing this played out in my life that second year after camp and I have seen it played out in many of the guy's lives I was and am still in community with. We are not being punished but it is crucial for the testing of our faith. This testing produces character, 3Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. We must understand that we are in a battle and realize the power we have in Christ to resist temptation for our best. Just as in any battle, a General would be a fool to put someone in charge of a group of men and women if he's still running from his neighbors dog, its a process.<br /><br />He never intends for us to stay in the desert. Jesus was only there for 40 days, however many of us like myself find ourselves there for years. We struggle and give into the same temptation over and over and over again, thinking to ourselves will this ever go away?! We then begin to pity ourselves and say "well Jesus lived 2000 years ago and doesn't have to struggle with the things we do today, how can He possibly know what I am going through?"<br /><br />And this is what I would say to that...the moment we give into temptation, it is no longer temptation but has now become sin. Therefore since Jesus was tempted with everything (as we find in Hebrews 4) yet without sin, He himself faced a greater amount of temptation than anyone else who has ever walked on the face of this planet. Think of it like this, as you stretch a rubber band, the band itself becomes more and more tense and when you let go that tension is quickly released. Jesus never gave into the tension, the temptation stayed taught. There wasn't this quick fix, of "oh ill just try it this time because I can't handle the pressure" No it was, resisting the tension that ultimately led to the band snapping. And I think it's set up this way for a reason, so that we can experience the fullness of life and where we see this desert period bypassed or ignored I think things can go awry. For instance, its so sad, but why do we hear about pastors molesting kids or cheating on their wifes? Perhaps bypassing the desert and rushing into ministry will prove to be more detrimental in the end...that a whole different blog though!<br /><br />So I am encouraged in my trials, my temptations because I know that I am being refined and as I begin to resist temptation and my desire to release the tension, I will walk into ministry and begin to help others. That is our purpose here, this is the hope that we have in Christ. Do not grow weary in the desert, there is freedom...Jasonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13841700179640389365noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5534345055140540994.post-16962772467656756602009-10-14T12:52:00.002-05:002010-02-16T23:12:37.303-06:00FootstepsDeep breath,ready?...It wasn't like I was afraid to walk or was unable, but when you're a year old and your parents are breathing down your neck urging you to do so, just so they can capture your first steps and then tell the grandparents all about it...it just takes the fun out of it. My stubbornness had already kicked in at an early age and I would just sit there as they stared down at me, camera ready and I would deliberately disobey. I wonder if they regret when I finally started walking because I was constantly getting into trouble and they would always have to redirect me from walking into fire, into the street or over a cliff. You would think, I would have been a whole lot easier to raise if I never took those first steps, but with steps comes progress and progress leads to many lessons learned...Ok so it may not have gone exactly like that but my desire to walk with Jesus has always been a battle. And He was always there taking me by the hand to make sure I didn't get into too much danger.<br /><br />I grew up going to church, was in the church plays (never got the cool role though...A DOG! what kind of luck gets you the role as a dog in the church play?! All I had to do was sit at the King's feet and I have some seriously good acting skills! conduct hmmm maybe) but I always heard about Jesus and all the stories relating to the bible. My prayers at night were genuine and I truly believed God was listening to just me. I accepted Christ when I was 11 and then things got more difficult following baptism. My brother graduated from HS just as I was entering Jr High and went off to college right away. My dad had been a father up to that point, but after that he just checked out. He was present still but not really there for me if you know what I mean.<br /><br />Sometimes I struggle with the thoughts "would it have been easier if he actually just left" because then I wouldn't be deceived into believing some of the lies I did, but then I know that wouldn't have helped either. Jr High sucked, kids are mean there as everyone is searching for their identity and feel better about themselves by degrading others. So when I got into High school that is when things really took a turn for the worse. I wanted to be apart of the "cool crowd" and since we lived in a small town that usually meant, alcohol, drugs and girls. So I ran. Ran away from God and chose those things that only brought temporary gratification. Became rebellious, fought with my mom all the time especially about having to wake up to go to church. Stayed out late. drank. drank. drank. Entering my senior year I tore my ACL in two-a-days and I thought my life was over! Football was my first love and I had worked so hard for my last year. I had dreams of going to play somewhere and now all of this was shattered in a play gone bad. Some grownups would tell me "God has a plan for you even though it may not seem like it" (in hindsight I can see it) but that was the last thing I wanted to hear! My heart became hardened and I gave into the desire of my flesh. In my mind I was doing what everyone else was so I did not see any wrong in it...<br /><br />Anyways that year was a blur and now Im off to college. Baylor University. A baptist school. <br />I met a guy who lived in my dorm, Adam, who became my best friend, and we were inseparatable sp?...Freshman year was so much fun for us because we would go to all these fraternity parties with tons of free beer. Midway through my freshman year my Dad in heaven took action. I interviewed for a counselling job at Camp Ozark, a christian sports camp, and somehow got the job...along with Adam. Crazy, scary i know. So that summer we packed up and drove to Arkansas. Literally on the way we looked at each other and said, we have to stop cussing. We cannot cuss in front of these kids. Oh my...God re-wired, redeemed and re-shaped me while I was there in such a tangible way and from that point on, I the prodigal son, had finally returned home. For good this time.Jasonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13841700179640389365noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5534345055140540994.post-3462545090670434762009-10-07T17:44:00.007-05:002010-03-18T08:17:08.997-05:00Restoration (part 3)Alright, alright I know this says part 3 and many will be tempted to start here and decide whether or not to read the other two, but that doesn't make sense...unless you are one of those people who skip to the last chapter to see what happens at the end of the book! shame on you ha! or you may scroll down and decide it's too long and don't have the time. I tried my best to set it up so that it flows in the direction of 1-3 not 3,2,1 so it probably won't make much sense to read this one first...and this is just the way it falls on the screen, sorry...Jasonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13841700179640389365noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5534345055140540994.post-81537288166928284012009-10-06T21:35:00.005-05:002010-03-18T08:16:45.797-05:00Character Building Part 2...I apologize for not finishing sooner (and if you have no clue what I'm talking about you probably shouldn't continue reading this until you finish the blog below, I'm just saying). The irony, however, is the connection between what happened 20 years ago on the beach to what prompted me to even tell that crazy story took much longer, hurt much more than the week I've left you hanging....so I withdraw my apology...Jasonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13841700179640389365noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5534345055140540994.post-72404596297319143782009-09-30T12:25:00.005-05:002010-03-18T08:16:13.502-05:00Learning to Let Go (part 1)Growing up as the youngest boy amongst me brother, relatives and neighborhood kids, I was forced to learn how to do things quickly otherwise I'd be left behind. I didn't enjoy games such as tag/chase because I was the slowest and if I got tagged then it would most likely remain that way until someone felt sorry for me or I quit. If we played hide-n-seek, my survival dependent on a good hiding spot because I couldn't rely on my speed to take me to the safety of base. There were many times when the game would be over and I would still be left in my hiding spot, punks...training wheels were not an option for me, those extra plastic wheels only slowed me down on my bicycle, therefore it was push and crash until I succeeded...Jasonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13841700179640389365noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5534345055140540994.post-68541375655290581052009-09-25T08:41:00.000-05:002009-09-25T08:49:11.952-05:00Standing through the Gauntlet<sup class="versenum" id="en-AMP-30376">3</sup>Praised (honored, blessed) be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ (the Messiah)! By His boundless mercy we have been born again to an ever-living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead,<p> <sup class="versenum" id="en-AMP-30377">4</sup>[Born anew] into an inheritance which is beyond the reach of change and decay [imperishable], unsullied and unfading, reserved in heaven for you,</p><p> <sup class="versenum" id="en-AMP-30378">5</sup>Who are being guarded (garrisoned) by God's power through [your] faith [till you fully inherit that final] salvation that is ready to be revealed [for you] in the last time.</p><p> <sup class="versenum" id="en-AMP-30379">6</sup>[You should] be exceedingly glad on this account, though now for a little while you may be distressed by trials and suffer temptations,</p><p> <sup class="versenum" id="en-AMP-30380">7</sup>So that [the genuineness] of your faith may be tested, [your faith] which is infinitely more precious than the perishable gold which is tested and purified by fire. [This proving of your faith is intended] to redound to [your] praise and glory and honor when Jesus Christ (the Messiah, the Anointed One) is revealed.</p><p><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/ngELZl3zAHs&hl=en&fs=1&"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/ngELZl3zAHs&hl=en&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /></p>Jasonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13841700179640389365noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5534345055140540994.post-36540030706565524952009-09-23T10:50:00.001-05:002010-12-24T10:48:21.179-06:00rebirthDo people blog because they have really interesting lives or just a really interesting way of wording mundane events to sound enjoyable?<br /><br />I mean honestly, I read some people's blogs who write everyday I'm really impressed by the amount of excitement they have from day to day. and do they have a lot of time to 'blog' or are they just that talented and the writing comes natural, and what exactly is the point of blogging? Is it to relay what goes on in our life or to express views, thoughts and pictures? ... it has been a really long time since I have written a blog so you'd think that mixed with the intensity of the past two years, I'd have tons to write about. I do actually, but I just don't know where to start. So how about with something simple, through my eyes...<br /><br />I don't prefer to be stuck in an office all day and so I use my breaks as a means to escape outside any chance I get. I use this time to walk around the building where the concrete meets the "gardening" (not elegant by any means) clear my head and think. However, everyday my eyes are drawn down to squirming earthworms who have broke their way through the dirt and have now found themselves trapped on the pavement. Little do they know (since they have no eyes) that hundreds of their comrades have made this same error before them and are now fried and left decomposing from the day before.<br /><br />Usually, I'll look, think dumb worms, step over and ignore them. But on one occasion I felt this small tug on my heart/conviction to pick one up and rescue it. Now let me preface, I am not a worm lover at any rate and it's not like I was losing sleep over these dying worms, but lately I've been working on being more sensitive to the Spirit and what God is trying to ask of me. So as I step over and try to ignore, I stop in my tracks and am reminded of "today if you hear his voice do not harden your heart"... so I utter something to myself, bend over pick up the slimy thing, who goes crazy as if I'm trying to hurt it, and throw it back into the shrubbery stuff. So this starts an inner dialogue between me and God. Thinking: what was the point of that? There are still a hundred or so still out baking in the sun and who's to say the same one that I saved won't be out here again tomorrow? It's pointless I thought, I can't save them all. The only thing that would save them is if I could become a worm myself, relay the message that when you are digging and then stop feeling earth around you, turn around and go back...and then it hit me.<br /><br />God looked at me, you, us, flailing about in a fallen world, blind, certain to die and knew the only way to save us was to become like us, with us, teach us, show us how to live and then die in my place so that I could be spared. So in His infinite love and mercy He sent His son Jesus, to walk in my shoes, to see what we see and to become light in darkness to reconcile what was broken to Himself at the cross. So Now for the ones who have been enlightened, He has commissioned us, entrusted us, to take this same message, the gospel, to those headed for the concrete.<br /><br />Now try to grasp this. The God of the universe, who created EVERYTHING, knows every small detail down to why atoms bond together how they interact to hold things together, to how proteins are formed inside our body so that we survive. He knows everyone who has ever lived and who will be born...this same God, a mighty King, humbled himself, stepped off His throne to such a low state that He was born in a manger, ridiculed, despised and rejected throughout His life and eventually died a thief/murderers death while remaining silent. And He did this for me. For you. There is no greater love than this... Now I don't know the equivalent of that...but surely that's worse than you or I becoming a worm?Jasonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13841700179640389365noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5534345055140540994.post-6491390783124776262008-11-25T22:10:00.000-06:002008-11-25T22:12:47.266-06:00Thoughts...<div>Where do they come from and where do they go?</div> <div>How can some stay for so long and others vanish so quickly?</div> <div>Why can some thoughts torment my soul to a pile of dust</div> <div>while others cause me to leap for joy?</div> <div> </div> <div>If the bible tells us to flee from immorality, from all forms of evil;</div> <div>how do you flee from your own thoughts?</div> <div>If it instructs us to <em>resist</em> the devil and he will flee from you...</div> <div>where do we draw the line between fleeing and confrontation?</div> <div> </div> <div>I mean these are just some thoughts I have, but even at this very moment</div> <div>my thoughts are warring against each other.</div> <div>so in the midst of all the chaos, how do we know which</div> <div>thoughts to take captive and which to run freely?</div> <div> </div> <div>James says that no man can tame his tongue but yet...</div> <div>out of this tongue we speak blessings and curses.</div> <div>Is it not first our thoughts that gives life to the tongue to move.</div> <div>Or is it a reaction without thought that allows us to say such hurtful things?</div> <div> </div> <div>Can the tongue act freely or is it linked to the darkness of our minds?</div> <div>So maybe the inability isn't in controlling our tongue but the reactions and</div> <div>the freedom of our thoughts...</div> <div> </div> <div>At one minute a man can burn for passion for his wife. Gaze and fall madly in love</div> <div>with this magnificent creation in front of him. The next moment satan can walk by</div> <div>a scantly dressed seductress and give way to a taunting fleet of destructive thoughts.</div> <div>How can this be and how do we co-exist with such destructive forces?</div> <div> </div> <div>Is it then our eyes and the way we perceive things that initiates our minds to run wildly?</div> <div>These thoughts which then grow roots and become our own words. </div> <div>So where does the battle begin or is it a never ending cycle?</div> <div>Jesus said if our eyes cause us to sin gouge them out, but he wasnt being literal was he?</div> <div> </div> <div>As you can see from the many questions I am very perplexed by my thoughts. They are never ending nor never concluding</div> <div>but always leap frogging from one to the next. Where do my intense emotions for you give birth to thoughts that can exist on </div> <div>opposite sides of the spectrum. How do we choose what stays and what goes?</div> <div>We reap what we sow. If my unhealthy sowing robs me of my enjoyment in my own self and causes dark anguish to my soul,</div> <div>Then my sowing is where I'll start.</div> <div> </div> <div>Who I hang around with, what I watch, what I read. My intentions and being intentional to grow a relationship with Christ.</div> What I put into my body and to whom I talk, and what I say. For what goes in must come out.Jasonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13841700179640389365noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5534345055140540994.post-91039183975044043412008-02-17T18:01:00.000-06:002013-05-29T09:01:03.093-05:00To Kill A Blue JayI was about 6 years old when I got my first BB gun. It was a Remington pump action that came with a scope. Little did my parents know that they had just equipped the greatest little hunter in southeast Houston. For the next several years: birds, cats, squirrels snakes, windows, my sister all had huge targets on them. My journey as the Great White Hunter took place in my backyard in the canopies of the surrounding pecan trees, my safe haven, so I thought, would soon become a place of temptation. My dad's orders were "Don't shoot any song birds or squirrels." Song birds, I didn't even know what that meant, unless they were singing some MC Hammer, Vanilla Ice or New kids on the block they were fair game (ok I would most likely have shot them if they were singing New Kids on the Block). To me a bird was a bird and if it happened to fly into my cross hairs I was about 97.689% sure I would pull the trigger, so that bird better be hoping I only pumped it 6 times instead of 10. ..I'm drifting, but pumps 7, 8, 9 and 10 were hard on my developing muscles and sometimes I didn't have the patience to fight those last four. <br />
I can recall one tragic event on a cool crisp morning. As soon as the sun peeked through my window I jumped out of my bed, already in gear from the night before, grabbed my Remington that I had strategically aimed at the door to ward off any attempts of attack from my brother's friends and out the back door to defend my territory. I had done well up to this point in following my father's decree. He had instilled enough fear within me to fight off any temptation to shoot and kill these warranted "song birds" Each morning I would listen to and watch them sing and I had to decided to let them live another day. But this morning was different. They just seemed to be enticing me a little more, jumping around from branch to branch displaying their colors and singing their hideous songs. Did they make a deal with my dad I wondered? Did they know I wasn't allowed to shoot them? So there I stood, 20 feet from a lively blue jay and my mind began to drift… "I'll just shoot right next to it and scare it off," I told myself. Sounded reasonable to me but as I looked at him through my scope a little voice within said, just shoot it you won't get caught. It's 6:30 in the morning, grown ups don't wake up until 7. So I did. The blue jay went to be with God that morning. And as I stood over him, thinking I should feel victorious and exalted I knew I had messed up and now it was time to cover up my mistake. <br />
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I don't know about most houses but we had a fire barrel that allowed you to burn your trash outside without catching the grass on fire. So I figured I would just burry him under the trash and then when my dad burned the trash he would burn the evidence as well. I agreed very quickly that it was a great plan. I picked up my kill, ran over to the barrel and as I was about to throw it in I saw that there was no trash. Yea not good. Panic, yes. Lucky for me, I'm quick on my feet so I toss the blue jay inside and thought, "Why don't I be a good son and just take out the trash for them?" I run inside grabbed the kitchen trash and I must have been making a lot of noise because I hear a voice behind me say, "Jason what are you doing?" It was my mom. I look at her and with an innocent voice said, "Can't a boy take out the trash in the morning without being questioned." Now let me preface this…I was NOT a kid who jumped at the opportunity to do chores, in fact I beat those kids up and I did everything in my power to get out of doing them. I think I might have taken out the trash ohhh maybe none up to this day. So when I thought I got away red handed, my mom's curiosity was only beginning to stir. She stood there staring, didn't say a word to me as I made my exit and headed towards the fire barrel. I walked or maybe skipped, trash in hands, smiling to myself and thought now how will I convince her to let me use the matches. Meanwhile, she must have relayed these peculiar events to my dad because he soon came walking out the backdoor to see who had taken his real son. He followed my tracks, which I had deliberately tried to make difficult to follow by taking the long way around, directly to the barrel. I quickly said, "Dad don't worry about it, you and mom just go back to sleep and I'll burn the trash this morning. You've worked hard, you deserve a break." He looked at me (probably thinking this was to good to be true), picked up the trash bag and there laid the lifeless blue jay. "Jason, why is there a dead blue jay in here?" he asked. So I said the first thing that came to my mind, "He must have eaten some of mom's cooking." I thought it was clever, but it didn't go over to well, after many attempts to plea my case and make up excuse after excuse; I finally had to come clean.<br />
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A lot of times we avoid telling the truth or coming clean with everything because we are so afraid of the consequences and judgment we may deserve. We think by covering up are mistake it will be a win win situation all around. Honestly I'm sure I got punished that day, but I don't remember what my punishment was. The punishment isn't what stuck with me, but to this day I can walk away and see the lesson and wisdom I learned from that experience. When you try to lie to people close to you or cover something up with more "trash" eventually you are going to be found out. The people who are closest to you, whom at the time you may think you are fooling, know you better than you realize and can see right through your actions because what you are doing is inconsistent with your persona. In the bible it says every deep and dark secret will be brought to light.<br />
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When Adam and Eve first sinned, what did they do? They hid from God and tried to cover up their naked bodies because their eyes were opened and they felt exposed. Satan has stuck to this game plan from day one and it has worked very well for him. He knows that by making you feel condemned and alone, you will hide from God, push away from the body of Christ and be a puppet for him to attack you and make you feel worthless. There is strength in community and in the body of Christ (the church) and he cannot harm you when you are wrapped in God's arms. What did God do when He found Adam and Eve, did He condemn them straight to hell? No, He was saddened because from that day forward we would know both good and evil and try to become our own god. But He loves us and sent His Son to get us back. He killed an animal and clothed them with it's skin, just as he would later do to His own Son so that we might have inheritance to his Kingdom. David says, in Psalms 32 that we he kept silent his bones wasted away…for day and night your hand was heavy upon me; as in the heat of summer. But when he confessed; God forgave the guilt of his sin. Jesus said, "The truth shall set you free." God has always drawn us closer to him, while the enemy has always tried to drive us away. <br />
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I'm glad my dad found the bird that day. Because if he didn't I may have enjoyed the pleasure and thrill of not getting caught. And from that day forward I could have started to develop a pattern that would only lead to a life full of lies and broken relationships.Jasonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13841700179640389365noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5534345055140540994.post-45921624242751118752008-02-17T18:00:00.001-06:002012-09-26T09:10:47.719-05:00House of MourningOk I don't know what happen to the rotation of the Earth or maybe the tilt of the Earth's axis but something has happened to Texas and it actually feels like winter. The Weather Team up here in Dallas aren't use to explaining what to do in freezing scenarios and had everyone freaked out this weekend basically to the point where no one left their homes. So with that said I've had a lot of reflective time with myself this past weekend...I didn't sit Indian style with my eyes closed and meditate or anything weird like that but when you live a lone with a dog, you kinda run out of options for conversation and being the analytical person I am, I just had to much time to think! I never really know if that is a good or bad thing because if any of you have ever done that you know you start to realize some pretty scary things. So to prevent myself from becoming depressed about all the stupid small things I decided to listen to some podcasts...<br />
Lately I've been listening to Matt Chandler's sermons over Ecclesiastes and they have totally blown me away. I have found so much truth and knowledge in this series and hope to shed some light on an issue I believe everyone struggles with but never fully appreciates. So if its cold where you are as well then grab some coffee and keep reading because if the roads are frozen over with ice, then we all know us Texans do not know how to drive on it anyway. <br />
In Ecc. chapter 3 Solomon condenses a series of paradoxical events that will happen in each person's life. He doesn't say God gives us a choice between two different options, but says there is a "time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance..." and I wanted to camp on the idea of mourning, grief and loneliness because so many times we find ourselves trying to rush through these periods in our life to hurry and get back to the dance. But before you can dance you have to hear the rhythm and I think God reveals that rhythm by allowing us to experience these seasons of life. And I'm afraid if we try to rush through to quickly then it will have only been a period of defeat where satan left his mark, instead of an open doorway for God to step in and use our weakness to show His power. I believe there is a reason for everything and maybe we are experiencing loneliness and grief in order to churn up some deeply rooted issues in our life that need some pruning.<br />
I think a common source of grief for young adults today is relationships. Maybe you are going through a bad break up or have been single for many years and have had the privilege of watching all your friends get married or maybe you are freaked out because when you wrote out your agenda at the age of five you knew for sure that by the age of 23 you would be in a serious relationship with the "perfect" guy/girl and marriage would be following shortly. This scares me because so many people will find themselves running behind on their timeline and end up settling for the first person who comes along...hence the reason for so many divorces today but that's neither here nor there.<br />
So how do we deal with this...Ecc. 7:4 "The heart of the wise in is the house of mourning, but the heart of fools is in the house of pleasure." What is this saying...basically we have two options. The wise will accept this episode in their life and try to learn as much from it as they can. They will surround themselves with positive people who will speak truth and encouragement into their lives. They will experience the dryness of the desert knowing fully God is molding and mending their character and strength to fullness. They learn the meaning to be content in all circumstances and understand what it means to "work out our salvation." They begin to rely on Jesus not only when things are easy but more importantly when the world weighs heavily upon them. And then we have the other options...to numb the pain by whatever temporarily means of gratification we can get our hands on. We think that if we can only find a substitute for this pain or lifeless void, then surely it will speed up the process and everything will go away. We try alcohol, drugs, strip clubs, pornography, new relationships but for some reason end up back at the same place: alone and more confused than before. We are trying to fix a problem on the inside with an external source. If a doctor were to only treat the pain, then they would never cure the disease and the pain would keep coming back. <br />
I can speak about this topic with wisdom because I've tried both options. First I tried to cover up my grief from a breakup by partying as much as I could. I thought that as long as I keep busy, stay intoxicated, and hang out with more girls, then the ensuing pleasures would overcome the grief and loneliness. It may have worked during the course of the event, but what happens when it's cold outside and I'm forced to stay home alone and reflect? I've learned you can't escape your thoughts, they will eventually catch up with you. <br />
However I had the privilege, if you will, after I developed a relationship with Jesus, to experience the affects of another relationship that ended. This relationship having more sacrifices and being a lot more serious, I decided to choose the other option. And from personal experience I can vouch for Solomon and say it does work. He says go to the house of mourning, but he never said you would be there alone. I have matured and learned more in these past 8 months than I had previously tried to overcome in my 5 years of continuous partying. There is so much more joy in running to Jesus than running to other relationships, alcohol or other people. I know grief and mourning sucks but it's something that needs to take place in order for God's intricate design within you to begin to make sense. Sometimes it's his way of getting our attention before we get in to deep...He experienced the pain for us so that we wouldn't need to so why not go to Him for help?Jasonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13841700179640389365noreply@blogger.com0