Growing up as the youngest boy amongst my brother, relatives and neighborhood kids, I was forced to learn how to do things quickly or I'd be left behind. I didn't enjoy games such as tag/chase because I was the slowest (shorter legs, dont hate) and if I got tagged then it would most likely remain that way until someone felt sorry for me or I quit. If we played hide-n-seek, my survival depended on a good hiding spot because I couldn't rely on my speed to take me to the safety of base. There were many times when the game would be over and I would still be left in my hiding spot, punks...training wheels were not an option for me, those extra plastic wheels only slowed me down on my bicycle, therefore it was push and crash until I succeeded.
These events and circumstances early in life formed a lot of my personality that has carried into who I am now and why I do certain things. Competitive, self sufficient, hard on myself and wanting to come out on top. In some areas it has proved beneficial i.e. sports and academics but in other areas it can be a flaw.
I recall one summer day when I was around 8 or so that "trying to keep up" put me into a lot of danger. It was a family/friends outing to the one and only "beautiful" coast of Galveston TX...After being covered in sunscreen by a persistent mother I proceeded to follow the older boys into the water. Let me remind you that the gulf is not a transparent crystal blue water, but more an eerie brownish green infested with seaweed and jellyfish. However, I didn't have time to think about that. My mother warned me not to go out too deep, but I quickly ignored her and was off to the races fighting through the waves in order to stay with the rowdy crowd.
After body surfing in the waves for a bit, the older stronger boys decided to make a swim for the second sand bar. One by one they went further and further until I could only see them bobbing up and down with the waves as they made a swim for their destination. I look around, notice that I was the only one left and had two choices: stay in the shallows all by myself or make a mad swim with everyone else. So I begin to inch myself deeper and deeper, bouncing up and down with the waves, still at a place where I could stand with my head above water. Pretty soon though, the receding tide was pulling me against my will, I am drifting now, deeper and deeper. I start swimming now, discover my undeveloped arms are no match for the crashing waves. I am taken further and further away from the shore and now I begin to panic as I frantically struggle in the grips of an undertow. I scream for help towards the older boys but my cries are only drowned out by the waves and salty water filling my mouth. My survival skills kick in and I use all my energy to keep my head from going under, the harder I fought, the further I went out. Exhausted, many different thoughts start going through my mind and I begin to believe...this is it, gone in the murky waters of galveston. Seriously, I decided to just stop fighting, took a deep breath, went under water and went limp. I remember praying, God if you're listening and watching, I need your help. I am helpless and cannot do this on my own...
1 Save me, O God,
for the waters have come up to my neck.
2 I sink in the miry depths,
where there is no foothold.
I have come into the deep waters;
the floods engulf me.
3 I am worn out calling for help;
my throat is parched.
My eyes fail,
looking for my God.
Submerged, I was being tossed to and fro with the waves and current. I had no idea where I was in reference to the shore anymore, I was at the mercy of the sea. As my lungs begin to hurt, I get this feeling inside saying come up once more. I push off the bottom, break through the surface and fill my lungs with much needed oxygen. But to my surprise I wasn't fighting the current anymore, I was standing on solid ground, water up to my chest. Alive.
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