House of Mourning

Ok I don't know what happen to the rotation of the Earth or maybe the tilt of the Earth's axis but something has happened to Texas and it actually feels like winter. The Weather Team up here in Dallas aren't use to explaining what to do in freezing scenarios and had everyone freaked out this weekend basically to the point where no one left their homes. So with that said I've had a lot of reflective time with myself this past weekend...I didn't sit Indian style with my eyes closed and meditate or anything weird like that but when you live a lone with a dog, you kinda run out of options for conversation and being the analytical person I am, I just had to much time to think! I never really know if that is a good or bad thing because if any of you have ever done that you know you start to realize some pretty scary things. So to prevent myself from becoming depressed about all the stupid small things I decided to listen to some podcasts...
Lately I've been listening to Matt Chandler's sermons over Ecclesiastes and they have totally blown me away. I have found so much truth and knowledge in this series and hope to shed some light on an issue I believe everyone struggles with but never fully appreciates. So if its cold where you are as well then grab some coffee and keep reading because if the roads are frozen over with ice, then we all know us Texans do not know how to drive on it anyway.
In Ecc. chapter 3 Solomon condenses a series of paradoxical events that will happen in each person's life. He doesn't say God gives us a choice between two different options, but says there is a "time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance..." and I wanted to camp on the idea of mourning, grief and loneliness because so many times we find ourselves trying to rush through these periods in our life to hurry and get back to the dance. But before you can dance you have to hear the rhythm and I think God reveals that rhythm by allowing us to experience these seasons of life. And I'm afraid if we try to rush through to quickly then it will have only been a period of defeat where satan left his mark, instead of an open doorway for God to step in and use our weakness to show His power. I believe there is a reason for everything and maybe we are experiencing loneliness and grief in order to churn up some deeply rooted issues in our life that need some pruning.
I think a common source of grief for young adults today is relationships. Maybe you are going through a bad break up or have been single for many years and have had the privilege of watching all your friends get married or maybe you are freaked out because when you wrote out your agenda at the age of five you knew for sure that by the age of 23 you would be in a serious relationship with the "perfect" guy/girl and marriage would be following shortly. This scares me because so many people will find themselves running behind on their timeline and end up settling for the first person who comes along...hence the reason for so many divorces today but that's neither here nor there.
So how do we deal with this...Ecc. 7:4 "The heart of the wise in is the house of mourning, but the heart of fools is in the house of pleasure." What is this saying...basically we have two options. The wise will accept this episode in their life and try to learn as much from it as they can. They will surround themselves with positive people who will speak truth and encouragement into their lives. They will experience the dryness of the desert knowing fully God is molding and mending their character and strength to fullness. They learn the meaning to be content in all circumstances and understand what it means to "work out our salvation." They begin to rely on Jesus not only when things are easy but more importantly when the world weighs heavily upon them. And then we have the other options...to numb the pain by whatever temporarily means of gratification we can get our hands on. We think that if we can only find a substitute for this pain or lifeless void, then surely it will speed up the process and everything will go away. We try alcohol, drugs, strip clubs, pornography, new relationships but for some reason end up back at the same place: alone and more confused than before. We are trying to fix a problem on the inside with an external source. If a doctor were to only treat the pain, then they would never cure the disease and the pain would keep coming back.
I can speak about this topic with wisdom because I've tried both options. First I tried to cover up my grief from a breakup by partying as much as I could. I thought that as long as I keep busy, stay intoxicated, and hang out with more girls, then the ensuing pleasures would overcome the grief and loneliness. It may have worked during the course of the event, but what happens when it's cold outside and I'm forced to stay home alone and reflect? I've learned you can't escape your thoughts, they will eventually catch up with you.
However I had the privilege, if you will, after I developed a relationship with Jesus, to experience the affects of another relationship that ended. This relationship having more sacrifices and being a lot more serious, I decided to choose the other option. And from personal experience I can vouch for Solomon and say it does work. He says go to the house of mourning, but he never said you would be there alone. I have matured and learned more in these past 8 months than I had previously tried to overcome in my 5 years of continuous partying. There is so much more joy in running to Jesus than running to other relationships, alcohol or other people. I know grief and mourning sucks but it's something that needs to take place in order for God's intricate design within you to begin to make sense. Sometimes it's his way of getting our attention before we get in to deep...He experienced the pain for us so that we wouldn't need to so why not go to Him for help?